Attitude Adjustment Series: Complaining Doesn't Help
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing so that you may be pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” -Philippians 2:14-15
I used to be such a good sleeper. I’d hit the pillow exhausted from chasing my five kids around and wake up refreshed early the next day ready to tackle the world again. I required eight hours of sleep for optimal productivity. But the past few years insomnia has become my unwelcome nightly companion.
Lately, I’ve been waking up at 3 am, and I lay there wide awake, flipping and flopping with thoughts rolling through my brain. “How’s this going to work?” “When am I going to get that done?” “What if…?” It usually lasts until 4:30 am and the alarm goes off at 5 am or 6 am depending on my work shift. I wake up frustrated from my lack of sleep, and I know I have a choice to make. I can choose to thank God the night is over and perhaps I’ll sleep better tonight, or I can complain and whine all day about how tired I am.
I wish I could say, I always choose the way of praise and thanksgiving. I do not. I can get pulled into the vortex of negativity, just like anyone else. But it doesn’t take long for me to be disgusted with myself as Holy Spirit whispers, “There’s a better way to handle your frustration and weariness.”
Do you ever notice when you complain, it invites everyone around you to join in too? People gather in their break rooms, near the water cooler, or over cups of coffee and try to convince each other who’s situation is worse. It’s all quite dismal when you think about it.
Complaining is the Language of Hell
Graham Cooke, in Learning to Master Renewal, says this about complaining: “Criticism, cynicism, sarcasm, complaining, and moaning are the the worship language of hell. The language that we should have in our difficult places and relationships is blessing, the language of rejoicing, the language of thanksgiving. You have to learn how to have brilliant conversations in difficult circumstances. You have to learn how to say good things about people who are trying to hinder you.”
What a powerful declaration about complaining. Complaining keeps us rooted in hopelessness and despair. As children of God, we are able to rise above our circumstances as we practice control of our tongues. It takes diligence and strength to respond to difficult situations with positive words.
What Complaining Does
It keeps us rooted in despair
It hinders us seeing the good in anything
It corrupts those near us
It robs us of hope and peace
I’m not saying you won’t ever have reason to complain. But there is a healthy way to do it. When we’re frustrated with life, it’s best to take it to God in prayer. He’ll listen and have compassion, and He will also ask us to “knock it off” because there’s a better way. God is not interested in our comfort as He is interested in our character. He uses difficult situations to mold us and change us as long as we partner with Him.
He loves to hear His children offer praise to Him in the middle of difficult circumstances because it shows we trust Him.
Dear Papa, help me recognize when I’ve resorted to complaining a lot. I want to respond to my difficult situation with praise and trust in You. Help me not follow the pack as we complain together. Help me take a different approach as I trust You with the outcomes. Instead of complaining to others help me run to You with my struggles so I can get a proper perspective. Thank You for all you do behind the scenes on my behalf. I love you. Amen.
Are you still struggling?
Here’s some help.
If you’re having trouble with your attitude maybe this free guide will help you. I’ve created a checklist to help you get a better place. Just click on the image and leave your name and email so I know where to send it.