Pamela Henkelman | Empty Nest Coach

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Give Mom a Break From Holiday Cooking

Our family charcuterie boards

A Families Relationship with Food

It’s funny how time changes a family's relationship with food.

 When our five kids were home, I made simple, homemade food. It wasn’t fancy or fussy, just warm and filling. While most of their friends were eating fast food, chicken nuggets, and frozen pizza, I was happy to cook from scratch. 

My mom taught me how to cook when I was very young. I have sweet memories with her in the kitchen. Cooking was a way to love my family well. 

 “Are there onions in this, mom?” was a phrase heard at every meal. I think it was a textural thing for my son.”There will always be onions, Honey,” was my regular response. 

I didn’t want to argue about food. 

If there was something they didn’t like, they weren’t allowed to complain. They could excuse themselves and make a peanut butter sandwich, then come back to the table. 

Dinner time was about connection and sharing our day. 

When they were young, we read through a corny devotional called “Sticky Situations.” Those were sweet days with our growing family.

 I was the head cook back then.

 I had the responsibility for menu planning, shopping, and food prep. I’d drag the five kids along for our weekly grocery runs, cart overflowing. Those five gallons of milk took up a lot of space.

The kids were great at cleanup. 

Eventually the younger two girls would join me in the kitchen, but for the most part food prep was my mission and I enjoyed it.

 It does not need to stay this way

A New Day

Momma, with the grown kids, you don’t have to be in charge of food prep anymore.

 The weight of holiday meal planning does not have to be on you.

 Invite your grownup kids to join you in the kitchen. Welcome their help and have fun as you reminisce and learn about each other all over again. 

 My five kids all adore time at the stove.

 In fact, I had Thanksgiving meal prep off this year because our oldest son Keenan prepared the bulk of the meal. 

 The turkey was brined and stuffed with onions, oranges, and fresh herbs. Copious amount of butter was used in the Sweet Potato Casserole and the Mashed Potatoes with Leeks. The Sausage Apple Stuffing with the crunchy edges was delicious. I only helped a little with the gravy. 

I’m amazed at their adventurous spirits in the kitchen and how they’ve grown as cooks. 

Keenan, our oldest son, makes ridiculously complex burgers. Moriah is an intuitive cook who doesn’t use recipes. Her pasta is a family favorite. Caleb and his wife, Ashia cook “clean” with lots of roasted veggies and protein.

 Rebekah is an expert baker and isn’t afraid to try a new recipe.  Keziah is learning the ropes in the kitchen as a newlywed. She makes a yummy beef stew.

 We swap recipes with each other and I find it delightful. 

The Joy of Charcuterie

Our family is now scattered across four states and it's a Herculean effort to coordinate our schedules, so we can gather together. Our favorite holiday meal lately has been charcuterie boards.

 We scour recipes and share them in a note app so we can all see what each other is bringing. 

We gather in the kitchen to cook and prepare, as laughter rings out and we make fun of each other.

We gather trays, boards, meats, cheeses, nuts, olives, pickles, fruit, breads, crackers, dips, and small appetizers.

 Half the fun is assembling the boards in an elegant fashion. Presentation is everything with charcuterie and with a family of creatives, we make some beautiful boards. 

You want to have a lovely balance of textures and tastes: salty, sweet, sour, smooth, crunchy, hot, rich, mellow. 

Once the boards and trays are assembled we place them at the center of the long table then we gather to enjoy. We rotate chairs every ten minutes so we can try different bites, without having to pass the trays. 

We “oo” and “ah” over the flavors and fresh combinations. “Have you tried this?” rings out through the evening.

There’s nothing I adore more than having our grown kids, their spouses, and grandkids gathered around the old dining room table. We started as seven members and we’re up to thirteen.

 Just wait until more grandchildren join our rambunctious bunch. I can’t wait! 

Joy abounds and our family bond is established, once again, as we gather around the table. Cooking and connecting over a meal, with our grown children, is one of my favorite moments.

I hope you’ll invite your kids into the kitchen and share in the fun of cooking together. This will give you a break and you’ll create lasting memories.

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, Thank you for the joy of gathering family together. Help me not feel like all the holiday prep has to land on me. I want to encourage my family to join me in the kitchen. May our time together be sweet as we share memories and continue to learn about each other. Amen.

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