“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” - James 4:6

The Tension of Pride

I feel the pull of the Spirit as a battle rages in my thoughts. I’m tired of the ongoing conflict with a person at my church.  Honestly, I can’t pinpoint how or why the conflict started. There are endless verbal scuffles that are exhausting. Maybe it’s because we’re both strong women.  She’s thirty years older than me, and I feel like she should be the mature one. “Why do I have to apologize?”, I think. Yet, here I am on a Sunday morning, minding my own business, and God wants to deal with me.

“I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to face this. Lord, she’s just a crabby, bitter person. Why do I have to go to her?”  My flesh does not want to do this, but God’s love compels me to do the right thing. I make the decision to apologize. I sigh and wipe the tears from my cheek. “God, I will humble myself and go to her.”

I gingerly approach Debra, and I pull her aside into a quiet classroom.  I’m thankful there’s no one around, and God has provided this moment of privacy. She has no idea what I’m going to say.  I see the tension in her face. I feel tightness in my back, but I approach her with humility and a warm smile. I feel a peace come over me as I apologize. Debra, grins and in her gravelly voice, says, “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

The conversation takes less than three minutes, but it changes our relationship forever. Humility shifts our perspective. The humble aren’t defensive or demanding.  The lowly long to connect. No longer do I see her as a bitter woman, instead, I see her as a hurting woman who needs to be loved. 

Humilities Way

Pride may be the strongest force keeping us from an intimate connection with God. If we’re honest, we all struggle with pride.  I know I have for years.  I’m constantly saying or doing the wrong thing because pride likes to have the upper hand. How do we recognize pride in ourselves?

Characteristics of pride:

*It’s bossy.

*It’s demanding

*It puffs up

*It judges others as inferior

*It hates correction

*It craves attention

*It needs to be right

When there’s tension in a relationship, often humility is the road to restoration.  

Do you feel strain in your relationship with God?  Are you avoiding Him altogether?  Is there something God is asking you to humble yourself about, but you just don’t want to?  Friend, I understand this heart stance well.  I have struggled with pride.  I want to be right, but I’ve found this isn’t the best avenue for true connection with God.

Humility leads to connection.  Meekness says, “I’ll go low, God, so you can be exalted in me.” A humble heart recognizes it doesn’t know everything, and it wants to learn and grow.

True growth begins with laying down our rights and humbly asking God what He has for us in any area of our lives. God wants to nurture our relationships, our purpose, our future, but He cannot build us if our heart posture is arrogant.

God’s Word says He gives grace to the humble. Isn’t that a beautiful thought?  God’s power is apportioned to those who lower themselves and ask for it.  We can quiet ourselves before God, or He will humble us, and I promise the latter is more painful. 

What is your stance before God? Do you desire a gentle demeanor so you can grow in knowledge and wisdom?  The motive is not to be “puffed up by knowledge,” rather the intent is a deeper connection with God, where He is free to mold you into His image.  

There is freedom in honest, humble conversation with God.  There’s joy in partnering with God in our growth. Papa gently asks to see things from a fresh perspective or lay down an attitude that isn’t helpful.  He does it from a heart of love for us. God is exceedingly patient with us.  I’m most thankful for this aspect of God’s character because I’ve failed so often with my pride. 

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, I come to you with a humble heart asking You to remove the pride in me.  I know pride keeps me from connecting with You.  I want to be honest and talk to you about the places I need to grow.  Help me not be afraid of that, but instead humbly invite You into the process of growing me. Amen.

Still, struggling?

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