“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord." Jeremiah 17:7

Tears of Trust

I’m on the highway again, heading the hour drive to the Twin Cities so I can be with my young husband for another week's stay at the Multiple Sclerosis Center at Fairview Riverside Hospital. There he’ll be pumped full of steroids to tame the inflammation that attacks his nerves, leaving him with a new tremor, spasm, or disability. MS is a beast that will not be tamed.The disease has upended our family in profound ways.

A 90’s song plays on Christian radio. The lyrics go like this: “Life is hard, but God is good.” Tears stream down my cheeks for an hour. I’m by myself, as the three little kids are cared for, so I’m free to let the tears flow. I need to be near my husband. Holy Spirit whispers so gently, as He has everyday since this disease invaded our home, “Do you trust Me?” Through stifled sobs and bitter weeping, I whisper, “Yes, Papa, I do.” 

Those years of struggle were fertile ground where God planted my roots deep in Him. He taught me to trust when my world was completely falling apart. When things only got worse and the doctor recommended my husband be placed in a nursing home, it was preparation for every trial I would face in the future. 

It prepared me for when some of my children rejected God. It enabled me to trust Him no matter what I experienced. It helped me let go of outcomes and trust Papa’s good work on hearts.

I was rewarded for trusting God. He gave me peace, identity, and set me free from fear because I was already living my greatest fear. 

We bristle sometimes when we’re asked to trust God. 

We’re told our whole Christian lives, “trust God.” The phrase is plastered on Bible covers, journals and wall art.  We throw it around like some cheap cliche, knowing full well many people struggle to trust God at the core of their being.

We question, doubt, and are unsure He has our best interest at hand. We’ve felt the sting of disappointment, loss, and relational pain. Things didn’t turn out like we thought they should.  We wonder will He truly bring good out of this tough situation with our adult child? We hesitate; we aren’t always convinced.

Yet, God’s Word reverberates with the themes of faith, hope, and assurance. Trust is the foundation we build upon, as the scriptures repeat the call to believe.

• And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. - Psalm 9:10

• Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. - Psalm 143:8

• He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord. - Psalm 112:7

• Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. - Jeremiah 17:7

• Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. - Proverbs 16:20

Can we not take God at His word? What would our lives look like if we believed everything He reveals about His benevolent character?

When we know God’s heart on a matter, we’re able to lean in and meet Him with sincere faith. There are rewards for those who faithfully trust God. God whispers, “I see your heart. I know this is a difficult situation with your grown child, but I see your faith in Me and it blesses me immensely.” 

There are beautiful outcomes we receive when we trust God. As we exchange our fear, doubts and limiting beliefs, God pours out extravagant gifts upon the mom who embraces Him completely.

The Heart of Faithfully Trusting Your Powerful God

1. God gives you peace of mind.

Peace is a byproduct of faithfully abiding in Christ. For the one who stills her racing mind, tranquility is exchanged for fear. As you simply lift your eyes to God, He imparts His gift of grace. You lay down your fears and pick up the Truth from His Word. He writes the verses on your heart and reminds you as you walk through your days. Peace is ushered into a soul who sits at Jesus' feet and asks Him to renew her mind. The act of trust ushers in the tranquility you desperately desire. 

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! - Isaiah 26:3 NLT

2. God helps you establish healthy boundaries with your adult child.

A mom often gets tripped up by being overly involved or concerned for her adult child’s struggles. You forget the burden isn’t yours to carry anymore. It rests on your child’s shoulders, as he learns to navigate trials and struggles on his own. Your overinvolvement stifles his growth and dependence on God. God lovingly asks you to release your grip, and allow Him to do His good work. By trusting God and not trying to impact outcomes, you’ll walk lightly and freely when you obey God’s request to know what you’re responsible for and what your adult child is required to do.  

“From one man he created all the nations throughout the whole earth. He decided beforehand when they should rise and fall, and he determined their boundaries.” - Acts 17:26

3. God helps you understand your identity in Him.

When your child struggles or fails, you want to take the blame. You feel like a failure. Shame beats you down as you feel less than, unworthy to be near God. For the mom who trusts God, you know your child’s actions do not impact your identity. You understand your worth isn’t tied to your adult child’s behavior, good or bad. You experience complete autonomy as you’re able to separate yourself from him. You stand securely in your identity as loved, chosen, accepted, forgiven and redeemed as a child of God, and a daughter of the King.

“You didn’t choose me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.” - John 15:16

4. God sets you free. 

Fear is a trap, a cage in which you cannot escape. Trust is the key that opens the door for your freedom. When you exchange your fears and doubts for assurance and faith, you are set free.

You’re no longer held captive by cycles of worry or wasted hours of stress concerning your adult child. Instead, you exchange your bondage for lightness and hope. This is the glory of trusting your powerful God. 

 “For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” - 2 Corinthians 3:17

Over and over the clarion call of scripture is for us to trust God. He’s worthy to be trusted. He’s all together reliable, stable and sure. He knows best. He has good plans for our adult children. When we get to the heart of the matter, there are great rewards for the mommas who trust God.

We are able to have peace of mind, establish clear boundaries with our grown children, stand in our identity as beloved, and find freedom in Christ.  How gracious is our powerful God!

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, Renew in me, a deep sense of trust and abiding faith. I want to believe You in every way. When fear overwhelms me, help me look to You.  Give me a deep understanding of my identity in Christ as beloved. Help me loosen my grip on my adult child and find freedom from the fear that overwhelms.  Give me a heart that trusts you completely. Amen.

Still struggling?

Grab my four page guide, Your Kids are Grown…Now What? for what to expect as you move through the midlife stages of motherhood: The Empty-Feeling Mom, The Questioning Mom, and The Celebratory Mom.

Can you guess which phase you’re at? I’ll explain more in the guide.

We'll address these key areas:

*Find Your Purpose

*Trust God

*Maintain Boundaries

* Hope for Wayward Kids

*Healthy Relationship with Child's Spouse

*Strong Marriages

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