We’ll continue the Trusting God Series on the blog today. We know we’re supposed to trust God, but what happens when we’re disappointed in God? How can we trust a God who has let us down?

“My soul is weary with sorrow: strengthen me according to your word.”-Psalm 119:28

Disappointment compounded

It was a beautiful September day, six years ago, as I was heading home from work for lunch. I was slowing down for an approaching stop light, and suddenly I was rear ended by a young, distracted drive and his passenger. They got out of their car laughing while I sat stunned. At impact, my head flew back and pain shot through my neck and upper shoulder and my arms grew tingly. I was a block from the hospital, and a quick trip in the ambulance brought me to the ER with my hubby close behind.

I had a Cat scan and x-rays. They put me in the neck brace and sent me on my way. I went home to rest and enjoy the benefits of pain killers and muscle relaxers. What I assumed would be a short recovery turned into years of pain and doctor’s appointments. I started with Physical Therapy, after 8 weeks of no change, I tried chiropractic, and massage and when that didn’t help, I was sent to an Orthopedic Specialist. I was reduced to tears at many of those appointments as the pain was excruciating. My usual cheerful, optimistic disposition was tested, as my life revolved around headaches and severe muscle pain in my upper back and trapezoid muscle. It hurt when I sat or when I lied down; I could never escape the pain, no matter what I tried. I tried to be upbeat and remain faithful. Eventually I didn’t talk about the pain, but it was my constant companion. Living with physical pain is exhausting. Pain killers and muscle relaxers made me feel sleepy and weird, so I quit taking them.

I believed in the power of healing from scripture. I’ve seen people healed with my own eyes, and my husband was healed of chronic progressive multiple sclerosis over twenty years ago. I thought surely God could easily take care of whiplash and scar tissue in my trapezoid muscle. But as the months and years went on, disappointment flooded my heart. I wondered what I was doing wrong. There were months I’d ask God every day to heal me. Then I just quit asking. This was followed by seasons where I write down every scripture on healing. I’d study the biblical accounts and pray through the passages every day. Yet, the pain persisted.

I realized I stopped asking God for healing because I was disappointed. He had all power at His disposal, and yet He chose not to use it. I needed to guard my heart against bitterness. I didn’t want my disappointment to cause me to move away from God, but it already had. I didn’t expect much of God at times, I felt cast aside and forgotten, though I knew it wasn’t true.

The breakthrough came when I acknowledged my disappointment. Breakthrough always follows our honest conversations with God. He knows what we’re feeling anyway, so why not just bring it out in the open. Denial keeps us trapped every time, as denying our pain, only keeps us in the dark. When we bring our disappointment into the light, then God can speak to it.

So me and Papa talked about it, and He let me air my broken heart and the feelings I had of abandonment and disappointment. I was also disappointed in myself because I was disappointed in God. For heaven’s sake, what is wrong with me? He assured me He was not upset with me and was happy to hear my honest heart.

He didn’t change my body but He changed my perspective, and that’s the kind of healing I needed most. With His most tender hand of love, He pointed me back to the truth of who He is: always present, ever helpful, all powerful, compassionate friend, reigning King, sovereign, good God. Even though this pain wasn’t good, He was working it together for my good. He was allowing me complete dependence and trust as I waited on Him to restore me. My restoration might take place on earth and if not, this body will be renewed in heaven. It’s the hope I hold on to.

God also instructed me to change the way I eat to reduce inflammation because inflammation causes pain. It meant giving up the carbs and sugar I love, but with God’s help I did that this past fall, and my pain has improved immensely, and I’m grateful.

How to Get Through Disappointment:

• Healing begins with honesty and acknowledging you are disappointed with God. Pour out your honest feelings to Him.

• Realign your thinking to God’s truth. It’s easy to be swayed by the lies of the Enemy when you’re in this state. The Enemy will always convince you God is not who He says He is. Battle these lies with the truth of God’s word.

• Reach up to God and out to others. We are all disappointed with God at some point, but it’s not often a safe thing to talk about. Share with God and a trusted friend and you’ll see these feelings dissipate

• Learn to shift your gaze from your circumstances to the truth of who God is. You will spend a lifetime learning this skill, but it definitely helps you have a healthier perspective.

• Once you’ve moved past the disappointment it will be easier to see God’s goodness. When you believe He is good, you will find Him trustworthy.

Life is full of disappointment. The hardest one to navigate may be disappointment with God because we know He’s good, but life doesn’t always feel good. Learning to be honest with God is the first step in handling disappointment. Allow God to speak truth to your situation and watch your trust in Him grow.

I’ve included a free printable pdf called, “Trusting God: 3 Things to Do When It’s Hard. Click on the graphic below.