“We come closer to God and approach him with an open heart, fully convinced that nothing will keep us at a distance from him.” -Hebrews 10:22 TPT

Honest Conversation With God

It’s late afternoon, in early spring, as I peer at the clouds outside my window. The grey day amplifies the dreariness in my heart; I cannot shake the sadness, as melancholy is my unwelcome companion. My sunny disposition is buried in the loss of people, comfort, and health.

We are four weeks into the pandemic, and I have only left the house once a week for groceries and once a week on Sundays to go record the live stream message with my hubby, the pastor.

I crawl into my favorite chair in my office. I wrap myself in a cozy blanket, and I weep. The floodgates open as I unload my grief.  I don’t even recognize it as grief, at first. I miss people. I miss connection and conversation.  I’m worried about our grown kids. Will my elderly parents with fragile bodies survive this pandemic? I am also overwhelmed by the political upheaval in our nation. I pour out my sadness to Papa.

I don’t have to pretend with Papa. He already knows everything that’s going on inside. He doesn’t judge me or condemn me.  I hear Him whisper, “Go ahead and cry, Honey. I’m right here.  I know this is scary and unfamiliar. I know you miss all your people immensely, but I’m here, I’m with you. I’ll help you through this.”

I feel the warmth of God’s peace as real as my cozy blanket.  I’m going to keep coming back to this place whenever I’m overwhelmed.  Papa’s love calms me best.  I’m glad I can be honest with Him. I’m thankful for His loving-kindness towards me in my pain.

God is Safe

There is nothing blocking us from being close to God because Jesus covers our shame. We are safe in being honest with God.  He allows us to draw near with the full assurance of His love.  The Father is happy to see us, but He’s not looking for the cleaned-up version of ourselves.  He wants us to be “real.” He’s not looking for the Sunday morning, mask-wearing version. You know, the one that is polished, perfect, and says “I’m fine!”  That version rarely draws near to God. 

The most liberating truth is we are free to approach God with our doubts, fears, frayed emotions, confusion, struggles, and sin. He already knows all that’s going on inside of us, but He longs to hear all about the things that are hurting us. 

Don’t we love it and feel close to a person who has shared a vulnerable moment with us? We feel connected and special.  It’s the same with God. When we approach Him with a genuine heart, we are welcomed close.  We build intimacy and connection with God when we are authentic with Him. 

The reason we can be authentic and sincere is that God is trustworthy.  He is safe to be honest with. Perhaps you have struggled in the past because a moment of vulnerability has been judged or misused by someone else.  It will not happen with God because that’s not who He is.  He’ll never abuse you when you are honest.  You’ll be met with compassion, understanding, and grace.  He may ask you to adjust some things in our life, but it will always come from a heart of love towards you. 

We are free to be vulnerable with God because He invites us close, He loves authentic conversation, and He is trustworthy. You are safe with God.

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, Help me not be afraid to come to You with my genuine concerns and hurts.  I want to build an intimate connection with You and I know that requires me to be vulnerable with You.  Thank you for being a safe place to practice vulnerability as You won’t use my honesty against me.  Fill me with courage so we can be closer. Amen.

Still, struggling?

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