“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”- 1 Thessolonians 5:11

Honest Conversations

We gather on a spring Saturday morning  at church for a Women’s Bring Your Own Breakfast event.   Many in the room are middle aged moms like me, sporting their comfy Saturday clothes.  We make our way around the table and share a little about ourselves. Normally I don’t prepare anything formal for these events but today I feel led to open a discussion about our grown kids.

 Gingerly, I reveal how some of my kids are far from their Maker. I’m buoyed by the strength God has given me these past fourteen years.  What once would have been a discussion leaving me in tears, now feels like an invitation to my greatest calling.  God has been faithful to minister to my heart this past decade, and now He is asking me to share what I’ve learned. 

 One by one women open up about the heartache of watching their adult child walk away from God.  Tears flow and knowing glances are shared. Hopelessness and shame abound.  But this morning is an opportunity to extend warmth and grace. There’s a holy hush as women share their pain. 

One burdened mom says, “It feels so good to talk about it.  I’ve felt so alone in this. I thought I was the only one.”  I see the relief on her face and a glimmer of hope in her eyes for the first time. I want to hug her close and tell her God will help her through because our Creator loves her child even more than she does. 

We Need Each Other

There’s power in being in a room where grace-filled understanding and compassion are extended. We need each other!

I’m making it my mission to normalize these conversations so moms don’t have to hide in shame anymore or live years of self-loathing because they’ve somehow ruined their child’s life. 

 One of the most powerful tactics the enemy uses in our lives is silence and isolation. He convinces us to keep our mouths shut as we walk through this pain.  We’re left feeling like we’re the only one going through this heartache. We scroll on social media assuming every other mom our age has navigated this transition well. We compare and criticize ourselves again. 

 We’re filled with questions, doubts, and  “if only.”  We feel less then, depleted and afraid. In our isolation we are only left with our perspective, which is usually faulty. We spiral downwards and wonder why God seems so far off.

We’ll find healing in community, as we take the brave step to talk about the overwhelm of this transition in our parenting role. We’re made whole as we invite God to minister to our pain.  We spur each other on and recognize what we’re responsible for and what our kids are required to handle. 

In community and connection, we find hope, resilience, and understanding. As we partner with the Holy Spirit, He’ll gradually release us of our doubt, fear, and shame. After all, His name is Comforter. 

So mommas, this is your invitation to reach out.  Find someone, another mom, a trusted friend.

 Share your story. 

Trust your God. 

Lean on the Holy Spirit.

Build a community of support.

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, I confess my pattern of silence and isolation.  I don’t want to suffer alone anymore. Please provide a trusted friend, or wise mom who can help me get through this difficult season.  Help me find You, Papa, in my pain.  Help me understand You love my adult child even more than me.  Give me the courage to come out of hiding and share my story so I can grow and heal.  Amen.

I’ve created a free guide for you, “Five Ways To Support Your Adult Child.” Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.