For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” - Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

Motherhood Shift

Thoughts rumbled through my brain as child number four left home for college. Doubts, fears, and confusion, walked beside, excitement, hope, and anticipation. My role as an active mother was soon to end, once the baby graduated in a year. I couldn’t fathom a life that wasn’t focused on mothering. For nearly three decades, raising our five children was my job. 

I thought about the sleepless nights, the hours of monotonous chores: cooking, cleaning, managing, shuttling them from place to place. I tended to their hearts, walking them through heartache, endless squabbles, and confidence slumps.

I taught them kindness, playfulness, how to work hard, and how to have a relationship with Jesus. I extended oodles of grace and unconditional love. When I messed up, I apologized. I loved being their mom. They were my life, my everything.

I wondered what I would do now. “Surely, I’m more than a mom,” I thought. 

Perhaps like me, you’ve asked yourself the same question. 

There will come a day when we feel the shift. Motherhood was a high calling and we relished it, whether we were stay-at-home moms or juggled parenting with our careers. For decades we poured into our children, and now we face days without them as our roles are changing. Our children are grown and have left us, as they should. It’s the natural progression of parenthood.

But we’re left with so many questions. We feel unsettled and unsure. 

Who are we apart from our motherhood? 

What are we supposed to do now?

What can we do with this one life we’ve been given now that our purpose is shifting?

God in his goodness, does not abandon us. Here’s what He says to the bewildered mom: 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” - Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

God has a beautiful plan and purpose for this period of motherhood. As we step into a more supportive role, it makes room for us to pursue our passions, interests, and longings. We are satisfied when we pursue the plans God has placed in our hearts.

God is present.

He will guide you. 

Goodness is coming.

Hope springs forth.    

When was the last time you thought about your dreams, or how you would like to spend your days? 

When was the last time you looked inside and addressed your longing? I bet you’ve buried it for so long, you forgot about your yearning.

This is the season to find your new purpose. You may feel simultaneously thrilled and frightened at the thought of doing something new.  That’s a normal feeling, but when you get curious about the possibilities, your heart will feel light. 

Here are five mindsets you need to embrace as you get curious in this transitional phase of motherhood.

*There is freedom to be introspective. You’ve spent years focused on others, as you selflessly cared for your family and served your boss. This is the time where you have permission to look inside and see what you find. 

I’m not talking about self-care: bubble baths, manicures, or long hikes.

It's about the deeper work of knowing who you are. Ask yourself these questions:

What do I really want?  

What am I good at?  

What does God have for me?

What do I value?  

It’s the time to reflect and dig deep. Take your longing out of hiding and ask her what she wants. She’s quite insightful. 

Behold, You desire truth in the innermost being, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Psalm 51:6 NASB

*There is freedom to pursue.

Momma, you have permission to dream. You’ve got the green light to move forward, to try something new, to experiment, and chase the vision you’ve always had. 

Oh, I promise you it’s in there. It might be buried deep under your “should’s” and “have to’s”. It could be hiding behind your fears, but in your gut you know it’s been simmering below the surface for a long time.

This is the time to run, to jump, and to dive deep! 

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” - Psalm 32:8

*There is freedom in identity in Christ.

You are so much more than the roles you play. As a follower of Christ, your identity is deeply rooted in Christ. Because of His work on the cross, you are chosen, forgiven, accepted, loved, freed, provided for, established, a joint heir,  equipped. 

Knowing this provides the confidence you need when something in your life shifts. Nothing can shake the work of Christ in your life. When you know who you are in Christ, you are secure and understand you aren’t defined by your role as a mom, but by who Christ says you are. This gives you confidence. 

Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan. - Ephesians 1:11 NLT

*There is freedom to lay down your fears.

Fear does not need to be the boss of you anymore. There’s too much good ahead. As courage rises in your spirit, you will find the strength to step into your fresh purpose for this phase of your life.  

Remember how scared you were to become a mom? You were terrified! But you grew and prospered; you were a patient learner. That happens in this stage of life, too, as you step past dread and live out the calling God has placed inside of you. . 

I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. - Psalm 34:4

There is freedom to pursue a different kind of work.

We assume when we lean into motherhood, it’s the most important job there is. It was and is for a season, but God has more for you ahead.  Life doesn’t end for you when your children are grown. 

You have passions, gifts, and abilities that were dormant because there was no capacity while you were parenting. Now, at this time, where you have margin, you can pursue the work you’ve dreamed of. God placed it within you years ago, and now it’s time to embrace the good work He has for you to do in the later years of life. 

 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.- Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Child of God, Daughter of the Most High, Beloved, you are so much more than a mom. You are seated with Christ, filled with hope, and ready to step into fresh purpose now that your kids are grown.

 I can’t wait to see what God reveals to you. 

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, I thank you for this fresh season in my life. I loved being a mom and now I’m ready to step into something new.  Help me remember You have good plans for me and that I don’t have to be afraid to look within and pay attention to my longing. Reveal Your will to me, then help me courageously take the steps in need to move closer to my dream. Amen.

Join us next time, on the blog, as we discover how to find your purpose. 

Still struggling?

I have a free guide, Your Kids are Grown…Now What?

A four page guide for what to expect as you move through the Empty-Feeling Mom, The Questioning Mom, and The Celebratory Mom.

 We'll address these key areas:

*Find Your Purpose

*Trust God

*Maintain Boundaries

* Hope for Wayward Kids

*Healthy Relationship with Child's Spouse

*Strong Marriages

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