How To Stop Being Perfect So You Can Rest
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“How blessed is the one whom You choose and bring near to You. To dwell in Your courts. We will be satisfied with the goodness of Your house, Your holy temple.” - Psalm 65:4
Perfection
Michelle handles the meeting with grace as a mid-level manager. She has her facts straight, she’s decisive and competent as she leads her team. She has high expectations of her coworkers and can be critical when they don’t measure up. A lot of times, she’d rather do things herself so their incompetence doesn’t tarnish the project.
She spends extra hours at the office to make sure every project runs smoothly. Her name is on the line. She’s the “cross the t’s and dot the I’s” kind of manager. No detail is missed. On the outside, she looks cool and collected, but inside she’s riddled with self-doubt and insecurities. “What if they mess this up for me?” she worries. There is no room for mistakes with her projects.
Contrast this to her home where she’s been in a renovation project for two years because she can’t decide what paint color to use on the walls.. She’s paralyzed with fear that she’ll choose the wrong color. She seeks out everyone’s advice and opinion then remains in a state of indecision. Her fear of failure is so great, she’d rather not make the wrong choice, so the project is stalled. She withdraws and avoids so she doesn’t feel the pain of not doing something perfect. Her self-loathing can result in depressive episodes.
This constant pressure to perform at optimum capacity drains her emotionally and physically. She pushes hard at work, but then stays in bed for hours on the weekends because of emotional exhaustion. She often feels behind and never enough.
The Answer to Weariness
The answer for this weariness is loving union with God. The Enemy would have us believe that our performance is what makes us right with God. We wrongfully assume God cares more about what we do than who we are. This is flawed thinking which often contributes to our striving.
God is not a task-master demanding we perform to a certain level. God is the absolute opposite! God invites us close to relax and rest in His presence. Relationship with God is the opposite of drive, performance, and striving. Union with God is gentle, based on His goodness, and ease.
We are invited close to melt into His love. We are welcomed as we are, insecure, unsure, and feeling less then. He simply bids us come. We trade pressure for ease and performance for rest. He invites us to draw near, completely accepted and fully loved.
Rest in an inside job. It’s a posture of the heart bathed in God’s acceptance and grace. It’s about God’s goodness and doesn’t rely on what we do.
As we learn the joy of being with God and understand He is safe, then slowly God will reveal areas of brokenness He desires to heal. He will never chastise or condemn, He merely offers a better way. Perfectionism can be broken and we can learn to take the pressure off ourselves. When we understand God’s love we won’t fear coming before him, like we don’t measure up.
There is only One who is perfect, and it never has to be us.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, Help me recognize my need to be perfect and how it sometimes causes me to freeze or withdraw because a project won’t be perfect. Help me learn my performance is not what defines my relationship with you. You care about my heart more than how well I do a task. Help me learn the ease of being near You so I can release the trap of perfectionism. Amen.
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