King David: A Study on Expressing Honest Feelings

King David: A Study on Expressing Honest Feelings

“I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me. My mouth is dried up like potsherd and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death. Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircle me; they pierce my hands and my feet. All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.” Psalm 22:14-19

I had just spent six weeks on bed rest waiting for our third child’s safe arrival. Church family brought meals and helped with our two preschoolers along with my mom, who lived two hours away. Those six weeks were emotionally exhausting. The probable causes of the preterm labor were dire. We had so many questions; would our baby be healthy? Would we make it full-term? If he came early, what medical issues would we face? Sadly, abortion was offered as an option. I stayed in bed, prayed, and read the Word as each hour I’d count the contractions to make sure I wasn’t having too many. My days were long and the weeks seemed to stretch on forever.

At 37 weeks I got out of bed, did my Target run to get ready for baby, and he arrived the next day — 9 lb 1 oz of complete perfection. Relief and rejoicing flowed freely. It was short-lived as two months later my husband was diagnosed with Chronic Progressive Multiple Sclerosis, and it would become the hardest years of my life.

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When Grief Is Part of Your Christmas

When Grief Is Part of Your Christmas

“The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.”- John 1:5

We lost my step-dad, Al, a few days before Thanksgiving 2001, he was 62 years young. He battled cancer for six years, and after a record-breaking eighteen months of hospice care, he passed away. He was a strong, funny, hard-working, stubborn Texan with broad shoulders and hands the size of baseball mitts. He loved country music, cowboy hats, jalapeno peppers straight from the garden, playing practical jokes, and Jesus. He came into my life at age twelve. I wasn’t too impressed when he thought I was a boy (perhaps it was my pixie haircut and my skinny undeveloped body.) We had a rocky relationship, at best, but, years later, we came to know Jesus together, and our relationship was miraculously restored. We had wonderful conversations about God. He loved me like a daughter, and I adored him.

When he passed the week of Thanksgiving, I felt nothing but relief. We prayed for months for his transition to heaven. Hospice volunteers and nurses attended our family vigilantly while Al wasted away in the rented hospital bed, set up in our living room. My mom cared for his every need. It’s how they wanted it. Nothing was left unsaid in our relationship. The day of his funeral we had 26 inches of snow in west central Minnesota. We stood in the cemetery under the flimsy awning laughing at how absurd all the snow was, and how Al would be laughing with us, if he were there.

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