Pamela Henkelman | Empty Nest Coach

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We Were Never Meant To Fill Every Moment With Constant Activity

“Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from Him.” -Psalm 62:1

Busy Blocks
Mel pulled out a notebook with a tidy graph of her daily schedule.  She didn’t buy a planner like most; she made her own.  It was brilliantly color coded with blocks for each time increment and the slots filled in with assignments, projects, and meetings.There was a rare open space.  She was an Education major with a taxing course load. Mel was organized, focused, and capable.  She was the residence hall’s assistant director where I served as a resident advisor.

I was impressed with her organizational skills. I paid attention and watched her every move.  She was a kind, gracious leader.  I learned everything about planning from her. Seeing her system made me come alive.  It made sense to me.  I, too, adopted precision and skill in ordering my days.  At a glance, I could see what was required of me for the day, each week, and month. 

 The more squares were filled, the greater my anticipation.  Those little color coded slots drove me! They pushed me to excel. They led me to over-schedule and overbook.  As long as a slot was open, then that meant I was available.

  I kept this unrelenting pace for years.  I said yes to everyone and everything. I said yes because I could, because I had capacity. However,  I never left room for rest, and I didn’t leave time for God in those early years of walking with Him.  I was more concerned with my busy schedule.

Can you relate?


Welcome Margin

We were never meant to fill every moment with constant activity.  We are not machines.  We are humans with frail bodies and limitations.  Why do we think we can push hard and not have devastating effects?

Our busy days leave us stressed-out and anxious.  Like a tired, hungry child we tend to lose it and freak out at those we love the most. The solution to our harried pace is called margin.

I’m not talking about profit margin, but margin as it relates to boundaries.   We create margin in our lives by building space around the busy.  We plan a little room to breathe, pause, and refresh.  We cannot be driven by those color coded squares.  When we plan with margin, it refuels us and gives us the ability to continue.  Margin is the space where we release technology, we put away our to-do list and we rest.  Our days don’t require a lot of margin, but a little dose is helpful.

The Living Well recommends these ways to experience margin:

1. Have a morning routine.  Ease into your day.  Instead of rising and jumping to your task list, spend some time with God.  Read His Word, talk to Him, journal, go for a prayer walk or run,or do whatever activity makes you feel most connected to Him.

2. Leave time in between your activities.  Don’t schedule things back to back.  Give a little breathing room so you can prepare for the next appointment. A simple 15 minute margin is life giving.

3.  Limit your social media exposure.  Social media is a taker.  It drains us as we get lost in the trap of comparison and feeling less than.  It’s not real life.  Stepping away from the drama of politics and  arguments will give you emotional margin. 

4. Tackle no more than five tasks. We’re often unrealistic about what we can accomplish in a day. Setting a margin around our work, helps us feel less pressure while we’re engaged in it.  There will be more time to finish tomorrow.

The world will not help you create margin. In fact, people will always want more of you.  But when we partner with God and become self-aware we’ll find the freedom margin brings.  We’ll have more time for God and more peace in our days.  Implementing pockets of rest into our day will be the most life-giving decision we can make.  

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As a gift for you, I have a free five-day devotional for those who want to learn to reconnect with God.  Draw Near Beloved: Five Encouragements to Increase Your Intimacy With God will land in your inbox.  Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.

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