Love Is The Key To Healing
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“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs.”- Proverbs 10:12
The Answer Is Love
Wendy and I gathered in a comfy booth. She preferred tea, as I reached for my hazelnut latte. Conversation flowed easily after years of friendship; the discussion always rolled around to our kids. We have prayed about our kids together. We have shared the ups and downs of teen years and watched our young adult kids find their life partners.
I understood her heart. Motherhood was her highest calling, and she did it with purpose and grace. After coming from a fractured family unit, she wanted a close family. Her and her husband worked hard to maintain the bond with their kids. We carried identical values for our families.
Her brown eyes welled with fresh tears as she recounted her heartache. Everything had changed. Her daughter came around less often. She moved to a new city and prefers her independence. She doesn’t return home when the other kids do; she seems angry or annoyed with her family. Wendy wondered why. “What have I done? I’m so concerned for her. What should I do?”
She wrestled with feelings of inadequacy, shame, loss of connection. She never imagined her adult child would feel so distant. After years of praying for her kids, she wondered how she ended up in this spot? “Where is God in it?” she pleaded.
I reached for her hand and willed hope to rise in her heart. “I know it hurts. I know you’re confused, but I believe there’s one thing we can give our kids. It’s love. We have to love them through it.”
Love is the key to healing. Love is the path to restoration.
As children of God, love must be our guiding action. Instead of defensiveness, control, correction, or manipulation, could we, instead, lead with love? See, love covers (Proverbs 10:12). It doesn’t point out the wrongs, or give disapproving glances. It covers, protects, shields, and restores.
The Holy Spirit is the one who brings correction and conviction, and even then, He moves because of His love. There is no harshness or condemnation. It’s not who God is. But momma, you are not your adult child’s Holy Spirit. You are called to love and leave the rest to God.
Keys To Love
Here are three key passages that teach us how to love:
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.” - 1 Peter 4:8 This is a powerful admonition for us to show deep affection for our adult children. We don’t point out their flaws or missteps. We don’t shame or belittle because love covers! Love is a blanket over our expectations, so instead of judging our adult kids, we adore them. Love is a person and His name is Jesus. Let’s look at our adult kids the way Jesus looks on us, with eyes of warm mercy and compassion. Let’s let the Holy Spirit bring conviction. That is not our job.
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” - John 13:34-35 Papa has given us a command to love each other. We don’t get to withhold our devotion. God is our model for tenderness; we look to Him for clues on how to love. We are free to appreciate others the way He has loved us. His fondness is unending, enduring forever, as it reaches to the heights and depths. We can’t escape His love. Let’s not allow our adult children to be confused or unsure of our dedication to them.
“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” - 1 Corinthians 13:7 Momma, you’re going to want to quit. You’ll become weary in waiting, but love never ends. It perseveres through hardship, disappointment, and hopelessness. No matter what your adult child faces, we can be a source of love. We must continually return to God as He pours out His love upon us. Pray that God would reveal His great love to your adult child. I long for my children to be overwhelmed with His love for them. In the waiting, we trust God is revealing His devotion to their hearts and minds.
Instead of rescuing or fixing, persuading or cajoling, could we lead with love, midlife momma? Could affection be the element that draws them to you and to the heart of God?
Do they hear love in your tone when you talk to them? Do they see affection in your eyes? Even when they are facing challenging circumstances or their life is falling apart, we minister love. Could your devotion bring the healing they so desperately need?
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, help me stay so close to You as You Infuse my heart with love. May devotion overflow from You to me, then unto my adult child. Help me set aside criticism, judgment and harshness for tenderness, compassion and support. May my love be a healing balm in my child’s life. Pour out Your love upon them so they can experience Your goodness.
I’ve created a free guide for you, “Five Ways To Support Your Adult Child.” Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.
