Lessons On Love From A Father
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“Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”-Luke 15:20
An Invitation to Love
Angela struggled as she watched her daughter, Jessica, walk away from the faith of her youth. Maybe it’s not so much that she walked away, as she added fresh perspectives on faith. Away from family, she was free to hear new ideas on religion, culture, and belief systems. A secular world view was presented in the college classrooms. Belief in God was scoffed at by her professors. Jessica loved God, but doubts clouded her decisions. The familiar voice of the Tempter rang in her ears, “Did God really say that?”
College life offered freedom from the restrictions and rules of her youth. Independence and free thinking wooed her away from God.
These changes alarmed Angela, but she pressed in and focused on God. One day as she sat with her Maker, in prayer, He gave her a profound revelation. She thought, “just because my daughter is making different choices, does not permit us from being close. I’m still free to love her deeply, and give the rest to God. Only the Holy Spirit can convict, convince, or teach her. My role, in that sense, is over. It is not my job anymore, now that she is an adult. My most significant job is to love her well.”
This fresh understanding buoyed Angela. It took away the feelings of shame and regret, like she had somehow parented her daughter wrong. Shame no longer plagued her, and she was free to maintain a close bond with her daughter. Worry was replaced with peace, and Angela surrendered her daughter to God, trusting His activity in Jessica’s life. All pressure was removed and devotion flowed easily,
Midlife momma, we might experience this with our adult children. They will walk away from their faith, and we will need to figure out what to do. Will we be embittered and judgmental, a Pharisee of sorts, pointing out all their wrongs? Will we lead with love? Will we allow them to wrestle with their faith without fearing they come to a different conclusion than we had hoped?
How we treat this child will likely change the trajectory of their life.
Let’s take our cues from a well known story in Luke about a father and a son. Most commentators focus on the son’s behavior, but today I want to lean in and watch what the father does. The story goes like this:
The son grew weary of being home, so he asked his father for his inheritance. The father gave it, and the son went off to live life with no restraint. He did what he wanted. He was careless and reckless. He squandered his inheritance leaving himself poor and destitute, begging for food. He remembered his father and returned home.
“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. Luke 15:20-24
Four lessons on love from a father:
The father surrendered His wants. He let his son go. He didn’t demand he stay. He willingly handed over the inheritance and watched his son leave, knowing he had no control (Luke 15:12). He surrendered completely. Love, lets go! It has a posture of openness and release. It doesn’t demand or manipulate. It surrenders all things to our benevolent King, who has a perfect plan.
The father was expectant. I imagine this father had his gaze ever to the horizon waiting to see his son walking up the path to home (Luke 15:20). There was no wringing of hands, instead he felt confident in his son’s return. Isn’t that what love does? It returns to receive more. The father was confident, ever trusting his Lord.
The father was patient. I imagine the father’s thoughts returned to the son often, as he prayed for His safe return. Can you imagine how he lifted his boy to God daily, trusting he would come back at just the right time? He didn’t wallow in despair; he waited patiently, resolute and at peace.
The father welcomed him home. As the son humbled himself, and returned home, you don’t find any lectures, condemnation, or judgment. The father didn’t ask his son, “What did you do with all the money?” He didn’t criticize or use harsh words. Instead, he welcomed him with an embrace, lavished him with gifts, and threw him a party (Luke 15:22-23). Can you imagine how the son must have felt? Now that’s extravagant love! You can feel the relief, mixed with elation. You can see the power of God all around.
When our adult child struggles, it’s imperative we maintain our bonds of affection. We talk less, pray more, and let them learn on their own. We lead with love. We take our cues from the loving father, who welcomed his son home.
There is no statute of limitations on love. Christ compels us to love one another. He is our example.
Devotion is a byproduct of union with God; it is the fruit of being close to God. So, when we are lacking in love, could it be because we are not filled up with God’s rich supply? Let God’s devotion flow through you to your child.
Our Father knows when they will return home.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, Help me love my adult child well. Help me love the way this father loved His son. I want to release my expectations and lay down my judgment. Help me relinquish control and an embittered spirit. Instead, increase my capacity to love. Fill me, overflowing with Your love, so I can pour it out on my adult child. Thank You for loving me well, so I can extend the same devotion to my adult child.
I’ve created a free guide for you, “Five Ways To Support Your Adult Child.” Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.
