“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith-that you being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with the fullness of God.”

-Ephesians 17-19

When You Feel Unloved

She sits on the chair with a pillow behind her because her feet don’t touch the ground. I sit on the couch with my long legs curled under me.  We sip warm cups of coffee and chatter nonstop. We are polar opposites in temperament and physical characteristics as I usually interrupt her, because I’m impatient, whereas she’s calm, deliberate, and steady as the sunrise.

Our conversation turns to matters of the heart, as usual.  We’re both grown women with children and grandchildren who still struggle with wounds of our past.  We were both raised by alcoholic fathers. We get each other. Doesn’t it feel helpful to process the pain with a friend? 

She talks about feeling unnoticed, not valued. I ask her the same question, “What does Papa say about you?”  She sheepishly grins and says, “He says, I’m loved, I’m accepted, and I’m valuable, no matter what I feel.” I can’t resist the twinkle in her eyes as she remembers the truth about who she is in Christ. She remembers she’s God’s beloved. How soon we forget. I think Papa put us together to help us remind the other. Our conversation continues as we discuss ways to move past what we feel and live in the truth of what we know to be true. We are both dearly loved, in spite of our painful pasts.

In the last 25 years, I’ve had hundreds of conversations with women over coffee; it might be my favorite pastime. Women easily share their hearts with me, and I share mine authentically, too.  The common denominator in these conversations is even though they have a relationship with Christ, they struggle with their identity in Christ. They wrestle with feeling invaluable, unloved, not accepted, shame-based, not forgiven, and insignificant. It breaks my heart to see women not understand how much they have because of Christ and to experience the richness of his love and acceptance.

We’ve all been thinking about goals and or resolutions for the new year. Honestly, most of us don’t make it through January without breaking our resolutions.  Instead of focusing on some outward actions, I want to take this year and help you with some interior work. Can you imagine walking through your days understanding you are loved, valued, and accepted not because of anything you’ve done, but all because of Christ in you?  Wouldn’t that be a year to remember?

I’m making it my mission to help women discover and walk in their full identity in Christ. I’m going to encourage women to let go of false impressions of self and release the lies they believe. I’m going to help them move towards the tangible encounter of being loved, known, worthy, and valuable as daughters of God.

Everything I write and coach about will fall under this tagline: Women Encounter Themselves As Beloved.  Are you ready to join me on this wonderful adventure of walking as a beloved daughter of God?

Dear Papa, There’s so much I don’t know or understand about who I am in Christ. I want to be free of these feelings of unworthiness, shame, and insecurity. I’m tired of following You and yet not grasping the depths of Your love as I get tripped up on how i see myself. I want to know what it means to life as a beloved daughter of God. Reveal yourself to me, Jesus. Amen.

Are you ready to get started?

Here’s your first step.

I’ve created the Beloved Woman’s Manifesto: Five Things Christ Says You Are.  Simply click on the image and leave your name and email so I know where to send it.