Four Key Questions to Find Purpose in the Empty Nest
/
"The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8
Longing for Days Past
Nancy headed to the grocery store, on a snowy morning, as her thoughts returned to her grown kids. “I loved those days when the kids were home. I schlepped them off to the store hoping no one would freak out in the checkout lane,” she giggled thinking about all the times someone had a meltdown.
“God had called me to stay home and care for them. I gave up my career because I wanted to. I was happy to answer the call of motherhood,” she thought.
A tear rolled down her cheek as she pondered, “But now they’re grown, what's next for me?”
“I loved being a mom. I didn’t think ahead too much to this season,” she sighed. “I wonder what God has for me now? I feel lost and purposeless. When will the ache go away?” she wondered.
Adrift
It’s not uncommon to feel like a rudderless ship once your kids leave the nest. We’re adrift and lost, wondering when we'll land in port.
We had our feet firmly planted in motherhood. We knew what was expected and even when we floundered, with challenges, we were confident in our roles as moms. We were secure and settled.
Now we face doubts and questions:
Where do we start to understand our purpose?
How can we know what God has for us in this season?
How do we find our actual purpose?
How do we reinvent ourselves?
Will we ever feel confident and self-assured again?
Thankfully, even though we’re bombarded with questions, we must remember God is near. He has not abandoned us to figure this out on our own. He is faithful, steadfast, and present with us even now.
"The Lord will work out his plans for my life—for your faithful love, O Lord, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me." Psalm 138:8
The Lord has assignments for us in this fresh season. He will lovingly guide us to his best plans for our purposes. He’s that good.
Sometimes the answers are found in asking good questions.
It begins with being curious and open to what God has for us. We learn to look in, up, and around, as God reveals His will.
Instead of shrinking back in fear, we stand tall, confident in how God made us, and then we look inside.
We pay attention to what God has already done. We notice how we’re wired and what we’re good at. We answer four important questions.
Four Key Questions
1. What are you passionate about?
Pay attention to what sets your soul on fire! Is there a topic you could talk about for 30 minutes without any notes? Apart from motherhood what could you go on and on about? Why do you wake up every day and say, “I cant wait to___________.” Follow this trail. It will lead to your purpose.
Do you have a specific set of skills or abilities that you’re so familiar with that you forget others would benefit from your passion? Entrepreneur Brian Dixon said, “What’s obvious to you is magic to other people.” Meaning, pay attention to what comes naturally to you because other’s need your expertise and wisdom. They are waiting to glean from you.
2. What experiences have shaped you?
Reflect on the challenges, victories, and unique moments in your life.
What key events shape you?
How did they impact your personality?
What have you overcome?
Who made a difference in your life?
What is your greatest victory?
What are the lessons you learned through these challenges and victories?
Our greatest purpose can be tied to the lessons we’ve learned and how we can use those experiences to help others. God uses all the good and bad and he forms us through these experiences with the hope we will pass on the lessons to others.
3. What opportunities are around you?
Often our purpose is linked to where God has placed you. Instead of being solely inward-focused, God invites you to notice those around you. Open your eyes and ask God to show you how to meet a need near you.
Consider the needs in your community, church, or social circles.
Who can you serve?
Who needs your wisdom and support?
What do others need most?
Purpose often aligns with serving others in ways that also bring joy and fulfillment to you. Imagine the joy of serving those who need what you have?
4. Where is God leading you?
It’s time to look up. Sometimes we get bogged down because we’re too self-absorbed. God continually admonishes us to look at His face. It’s time to pay attention to those God nudges. Quiet your soul, then listen while you are reading his Word. God speaks most clearly through the stories of the Bible.
You can confidently trust that He led His children then and He will lead you now.
What is God speaking to you?
What is He confirming through conversations, church services and what others say? What is the Holy Spirit nudging you towards?
How is God asking you to trust Him as you step out in faith?
We often feel afraid when life changes, but finding our purpose in the empty nest does not have to be complicated. We can ask ourselves some powerful questions as we look inside, focus upward, then look around us and see what God has in store. He has wonderful plans for our empty nest experiences.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, as I enter the empty nest I feel purposeless and want to know what you have for me after motherhood. Give me wisdom to look inward, look around, and lift my eyes to your face as you lovingly guide me to the good plans for this time of my life. I praise you for your faithfulness and love. Guide you to your best for me. Amen.
Still struggling?
Grab my free guide, Your Kids Are Grown….Now What? It’s a robust guide to help you understand the three different phases of midlife motherhood. You’ll move from the Empty-Feeling Mom, the Questioning Mom, and the Celebratory Mom. The guide will help you see what to expect next.
Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.
