Letting Go of Doubt: How Christian Moms Thrive in Empty Nest Purpose
/
“Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”- Mark 9:24
A Mind Full of Doubts
Nancy stood at the window as doubts rumbled in her mind. Her kids were moving on, and she needed to find a fresh purpose. “I’m a good listener. I’m intuitive and understand human behavior. I love helping people, but I don’t know if I can do it now,” she thought.
She had dreams of being a counselor, but the Accuser worked diligently to fill her mind with doubts. “You're too old” and “It’ll be too hard.” were his continual comments.
“How do people just start over? What if I fail? What if I’m not good at it?” she wondered. The questions were on repeat, but she couldn’t deny she felt the Lord prompting her to enroll in college classes.
Nancy’s husband encouraged her and her Bible study friends prayed through it with her. She and her girlfriend walked and talked about the new possibilities every day, and yet she stood at a crossroad. Would she let her doubts win or would she walk by faith and step into a fresh season with renewed purpose?
What’s Next?
Most moms will stand on the edge of the empty nest, wondering what they will do next. We feel empty and purposeless, floundering through our days.
But what if this is the season of great opportunity?
Does God have a new job, ministry, business, or lifelong dream that He’s calling you to step into?
We start pondering our purpose as our children leave our homes.
For decades our lives were firmly planted in motherhood. We thrived and grew as we parented. We understood the assignment and the expectations.
Now we’re flooded with doubts. Fears mount as possibilities are presented.
We’re suddenly overwhelmed and suffer with a significant crisis of faith as we scurry to make sense of our future. We’re not unlike that middle school version of ourselves, plagued by uncertainty and “what will others think” arguments.
Surely on the other side of our doubts we find God’s gentle nudges which lead us to our next purpose.
Motherhood is glorious, but it’s one role our Lord had for you. He’s not done yet.
God has made provision for every apprehension, state of confusion, or reluctance. On the backside of doubt is His gracious purpose for you.
Take heart, momma. God is most tender with you in this season of life. He does not condemn or chide. He takes your hand and says, “Follow me. I will show you exactly what to do.”
Unbelief
The story in Mark speaks of a father who’s exasperated with his son’s sickness. He finally brings him to Jesus. Jesus, with a heart of compassion, tells the father he only has to believe and his son will be healed. The father replied with the most honest statement. “I do believe! Help me overcome my unbelief.” Mark 9:24
Help me overcome my unbelief or doubt has been the cry of the human condition for generations. Thankfully there are practical steps to releasing your reluctance.
Let’s look at four ways to let go of doubt.
1. Acknowledging doubt is normal.
Before you can let something go, you must first acknowledge it. Instead of denying or justifying your doubt, name it. Bring it out in the presence of Jesus and say, “I’m scared.”
It is normal to doubt when you’re on the edge of an unfamiliar season of life, like stepping into the empty nest. Please do not feel ashamed or less than because of your doubt. View it as an opportunity to talk to Jesus about it. You will be met with immense compassion and empathy. Thankfully, Jesus never lets us stay stuck there.
2. Counter the doubt with faith.
When you experience doubt you need to wrestle with God, until He strengthens your faith. You could give up and not receive all the good God has for you, or you could get down on the mat and fight for your bright future.
Search the scriptures to find nuggets of truth about God’s guidance and provision for you. Your faith will only grow when you step over your doubts and crush them to the ground. That’s where real faith flourishes. Allow the scriptures to strengthen your soul so you can move past the apprehension you feel.
3. Move forward in spite of fear.
If you’re waiting to have no fear, I’m afraid, you’ll be waiting a long time. Only in heaven will you be completely fearless. On this side of heaven you need to learn to move forward in spite of your reluctance.
Fear doesn’t magically go away. You must learn to manage it. You’re the boss of it, as God leads. It’s helpful to adopt a mindset that says, “Even though I’m afraid, I trust God to lead me to His best plans for my new purpose. As you move forward, fear is diminished and confidence in God rises. One day it will be laughable how comfortable you feel in your fresh purpose.
4. Be willing to feel uncomfortable.
Ease is the fodder of those who remain purposeless. Instead of pursuing comfort, be willing to be stretched. Allow doubt to be an opportunity for your growth.
Seek God as you move through the uncomfortable and allow Him to reveal His will. Pray and seek God’s heart for His purpose in this season of life. Let God guide every step and trust His heart. Eventually, you’ll feel comfortable in what He’s called you to do. That’s how good He is.
It’s not uncommon for moms to be plagued with doubts once our children are grown. It makes sense because our lives were focused on motherhood. But with every crisis of faith, we can trust God’s hand. When we face the future with courage and reliance on God we can be confident He will lead us to our fresh purposes.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, thank you for helping me with my unbelief. Help me make it through this crisis of faith so I can step into the good plans you have prepared for me. Fill me with courage and strength to pursue what you are leading me to do. I trust you even when I’m afraid. Amen.
Still struggling?
Grab my free guide, Your Kids Are Grown….Now What? It’s a robust guide to help you understand the three different phases of midlife motherhood. You’ll move from the Empty-Feeling Mom, the Questioning Mom, and the Celebratory Mom. The guide will help you see what to expect next.
Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.
