Surprisingly Helpful Tips When Your Baby Graduates High School
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“There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.- Deuteronomy 33:26
Welcome to the month of May when you have a senior. It’s a little part grief, overwhelm, and annoyance. Hang in there, momma. We are going to get you through. Let me tell you about our first born’s graduation party.
That Didn’t Go As I Expected
We spent the day preparing for our first born, Keenan’s high school graduation. I was a stressed out momma, wanting everything to be perfect. The white tent was set up in the backyard, the food was prepped, and the decorations looked lovely. I drew a bubble bath, to relax after a busy day, when I heard a piercing scream.
Baby sister, Keziah was at the back door holding her dangling arm. Our kindergartener had spent the day happily jumping from a bench to the clothes line pole while we scurried about prepping for the grad party. On the last jump, she missed the pole and landed on the ground, her arm mangled from the impact. We knew immediately it was serious and rushed off to the ER.
Our small town ER sent us eighty miles away to a larger hospital so she could have the compound fracture surgically repaired. I sat shocked and dismayed as I waited for her to get through surgery. How is this even happening, I thought, eyes lifted to heaven? I wondered why we had to face this difficult situation in the middle of an already stressful season. I was miffed at God. Where were those angels of protection when we needed them?
We returned home at 5am and tucked our sweet girl into bed. Exhausted and stressed from our baby's injury, we now had the reality of hosting a graduation party in a few hours. I was already exhausted, and now I had lost a whole night's sleep. Goodness. It was too much to bear!
The party went off perfectly, and our sweet little kindergartener was lavished on by our guests. She was a real trouper considering all she had been through. Our senior enjoyed the party then set out with his friends afterwards. It was a beautiful day in every way. The day before wasn’t anything like we expected but we learned a few lessons from it.
How about you, momma? How are you handling the stress with your high school senior?
Mommas, when we have seniors in high school, it’s a mixed bag of jubilation, irritation and exhaustion. Managing our emotional overwhelm, our busy schedules, and the demands of a graduation celebration can leave us exhausted, annoyed, and grieving.
One minute we’re bursting with pride as our students take the stage for an academic award, then the next we're irritated because they’re off having fun, and we're managing all the details of their grad party. We wonder why can’t they help a little, instead of flitting about with their friends. Do they even know how much work it is?
Next we’ll find ourselves in a puddle of tears as we read through their fourth grade poetry books. We are astonished how much they’ve matured since their senior photos were shot last fall. Who are these grown children looking back at us? Bewildered, we wonder how the years flew so fast. We doubt if we’ve prepared them well to go off on their own.
How can we make it through these busy weeks?
Acknowledging God’s nearness will provide the strength you need. Your dependence on God to see you through will boost your confidence. Instead of rushing through your days, take a few moments each day to ask God to guide your steps. He’s willing to help you emotionally, physically, and spiritually. He’ll provide everything you need for this season. He’s waiting to help you. “There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you, across the skies in majestic splendor.- Deuteronomy 33:26
What if there were a healthy way to approach this transition? After going through these unique seasons with our five kids, I eventually adapted some of these tips and they helped me immensely.
Helpful Tips When Your Baby Graduates High School
1. Extend grace to yourself:
If this is your first child graduating from high school you anticipate and may even dread the unknown. How will you manage your grief, stress, and overwhelm of this uncharted territory? This is the time to lean on the graciousness of God. Instead of punishing yourself for how you feel, spend a few moments each day focused on God’s lavish grace. May His compassion towards you allow you to release yourself from perfectionism or the desire to flee when it all feels too hard. When you allow God to help you with every detail, you’ll walk in the peace you long for.
2. Release expectations:
The list of expectations are long, and most expectations lead to disappointment. Approaching this busy season with managed expectations will result in more peace for mom. Here are some expectations to let go of:
Everything has to be perfect! Perfectionism robs you of peace. Acknowledge something will go wrong, then you’ll be able to manage the stress better.
Your family will know what you need. Loved ones will only know what you need when you tell them. Have a conversation so you won’t feel so alone in the stress of this season.
Your seniors will help with everything. Your child’s schedule will be maxed out with school, work, events and wanting time with friends. Don’t assume they will always be available for you and don’t take it personally when they’re absent.
3. Focus on your seniors' wishes:
You’ll be tempted to make this season and graduation party about you, but don’t fall into that trap. Have an honest conversation with your seniors and ask them how they’d like to be celebrated. Some seniors prefer no party and would rather have a small family dinner. Make sure whatever you do matters to your child. The more personal touches the better. Celebrate who your child is!
4. Ask for help:
There’s no need for stubborn independence or a martyr complex when you’re juggling the demands of your child’s last month of high school. This is the perfect time to humble yourself and ask for help. Enlist your girlfriends and family members with various tasks. You can’t do everything, so choose wisely so you arrive at the end of the month ready to celebrate instead of feeling embittered because you had to do “all the things!” Some of my favorite memories are all the fun we had as a family preparing for each graduation.
When our babies graduate from high school it is a monumental moment in our families lives. Surely, something will go wrong. There will be added stress but as we hold onto the faithfulness of God, we’ll find the strength we need to get through an exhausting season.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, This is a hectic season for me. I feel overloaded emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. Help me lean into your strength as I navigate the transition with my senior. Give me a tender heart, the ability to communicate my needs, and help me choose to focus on You as my source for everything. Amen.
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