The Heart Work Required to Release Expectations
/“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”-Psalm 51:10
The Voice of Shame
I don’t want to face it. I’d rather hide from it, but today I’m smacked with my shame. She cuts with her remarks.
You are a failure!
You couldn’t even pray well enough for your kids!
You really messed it up, mom!
What kind of Christian are you?
I sat in a puddle of tears again, wishing, hoping, praying my child wasn’t walking away from God. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t the vision I had for our family.
The Holy Spirit gently whispers in my thoughts, “This isn’t about your child. I hold your child. What I want to talk about today is your heart. Let’s look at why you feel shame. It’s more about you than them.”
Honestly, facing the condition of my heart wasn’t something I wanted to do.
Wouldn't it be easier to focus on how they had let me down?
God graciously revealed areas of pride, judgement, and criticism I had allowed to grow in my heart surrounding this child. He led me to understand my expectations were harming this child. While the enemy wanted to beat me down with shame, the Holy Spirit wanted to grow me. He lovingly revealed how my motives were the things hurting this child. This was the beginning of my letting go and I didn’t experience humiliation nearly as often.
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