How to Feel Secure

We are wrapping up the five core factors in our identity in Christ. So far, we have discussed how we are loved, accepted, significant, and forgiven. For the month of June, we’ll talk about how we are secure in God because of Christ. These are the five truths of our Beloved Women’s Manifesto, and I hope it’s been helpful in your understanding of your identity in Christ. 

“It is God who enables us, along with you, to stand firm for Christ. He has commissioned us, and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us.” 2 Corinthians 1:21-22

As a child, I felt unsettled in who I was. Most days I lived afraid. I was afraid of the dark, afraid of thunderstorms, afraid of animals, afraid of the basement, afraid of shadows, afraid of disappointing my mom, and afraid of my father’s drunken outbursts.

As a teen, shame told me because I was the daughter of an alcoholic, there was something inherently wrong with me. I needed to hide. I hid behind my “good girl’ persona. I lived to please and perform. I was dutiful, diligent, and hid my insecurity.  People wouldn’t accept me if they knew where I came from.  I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, or talented enough, and surely not from the right kind of family.

I worked hard to feel secure, but like sand through my fingertips, I could never hold on to any security.  Life felt shaky, and I was lost in who I was.  Was I supposed to be a good girl? I had tried that all my life, and where did it get me? Still insecure. Maybe I’d fit in on the wild side? I tried to loosen the shackles of perfectionism and performance during my freshman year of college.  Sure, it was fun, but it didn’t make me feel more secure. 

My footing only felt secure once I surrendered to Jesus. 

We search for our security in so many places. We look to our jobs, roles, social status, income bracket, possessions, or skills. We focus on how well our children do or don’t behave. We hope to find it in our perfectly curated homes, our organized closets, endless spreadsheets of plans, and our size four jeans.

Sometimes, after we come to Christ we can get trapped in rule-following, mask-wearing, and endless religious rituals so we’ll feel better about ourselves. If I just try-harder, pray-harder, and serve more, somehow we’ll have security.

But ultimately, these leave us hollow. It is God alone who enables us to stand secure because of our alliance with Christ.  In Christ, we are secure.  Our place is set as an adopted son, joint- heir, and humble sojourner.

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ if indeed we share in his sufferings  in order that we may also share in his glory.” - Romans 8:17

As heirs, all that belongs to Jesus will also belong to us.  Because of Jesus, we are welcomed into God’s family, and that is the most secure place to be.  It’s a family of acceptance, love, freedom, and security. It’s not based on anything we do to receive it, but all because of what Christ did for us in his death and resurrection. We don’t have to perform, hide, or work our way to it. We simply come with surrender hearts and let Jesus take His place.

So next time you wonder about the meaning of life and your place in the world, don’t look to outward signs.  Look to the cross and your connection with Jesus.  He’s the one who makes us secure.

What are you looking towards to feel secure?

Dear Papa, I thank you that apart from you I am nothing.  No performance, possession, or outward sign makes me right with you.  My security comes from my connection with Christ.  He alone makes me secure.  Help me understand all I have been given because of Him.  I want to learn to live in security as His beloved daughter.

Still, struggling?

Maybe this will help.

I’ve included a free guide to help you understand your identity in Christ as a beloved daughter of God. Click on the image below and leave your name and email so I know where to send it.