Embracing the Bittersweet with High School Seniors
/
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7
Bittersweet Moments
I watched Rebekah gracefully cross the stage to accept her certificate, confident and composed, as my mind flashed to her four-year-old-self. I saw her in her purple sequined tutu and her first pair of tap shoes, blissfully on stage at her first dance recital. Her wavy hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, with a purple feather hat tipped to the side. She grinned from ear to ear as the music faded up. Her brown eyes sparkled as she danced.
I remembered the challenging middle school years where girls hurled insults and hurt her tender heart. “Mean Girls” wasn’t just a movie, it was a shocking reality for my young teen. She navigated rejection and learned important lessons about friendship.
High school brought endless leadership opportunities and growth. And here we were at the end, as our calendar was filled with events: the final Choir Concert, Spring Musical, National Honor Society Banquet, Prom, Student Council Banquet, Speech Banquet. She happily walked through each event while I thought my heart would break in two.
How would I survive bittersweet moments, tumbling together, one after another? Is this what letting go feels like?
Emotional Swings
Maybe you’ve felt these emotional swoops as high school graduation season is upon us.
Moms will experience immense contradictory emotions as they navigate the end of their children's high school. Know this is normal. This is part of the transition. This is where we feel unsettled and at peace. How is this even possible? You’re not losing your mind; you're just moving through a big moment in your motherhood.
We live in the tension of “big feelings" and confidence in God. We’ll experience abundant joy and deep sorrow. We are stuck longing for the past, but hopeful for the future. We’ll experience regret for our mistakes and pride for the ways we parented well. We will wrestle with doubt and cling to God.
God’s Perspective
How can a mom manage the emotional swings and settle her heart and mind on God?
The apostle Paul, wrote a letter to the church in Phillipi, but he might as well have said, “Hey, mom, you’re gonna need this when you’re kid is a senior.”
As we experience these varying emotional swings, we have a model to use to calm our fears.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 4:6-7
What you’re required to do:
Acknowledge your fear
Talk to God about your fear; be honest
Tell God everything you need
Thank Him for all He’s done
The result of these actions is peace
This peace will guard your heart and mind as you stay connected to Jesus
Going through each of these steps when the swings occur is the surest way to gain back your peace. Lysa TerKeurst said it best, “Feelings are indicators.” You need to pay attention because they’re trying to tell you something.
This will require self-awareness and space to process your emotions well. Don’t stuff those feelings down because they will come out sideways at a most inopportune time and cause collateral damage.
Grab a notebook and start practicing these steps and you’ll be amazed how your feelings will settle down, as you focus on God.
This Verses That
Let’s look at some swings you may experience:
1. Sorrow vs Joy:
One minute you’ll be bawling your eyes out because you won’t see your child’s cute little face everyday, all the while feeling overwhelmed with joy at your child’s maturity, achievements, strong character, or tender heart.
This probably takes place in an auditorium or sports field as your child performs or competes. If only these emotions didn’t happen in such a public place. It’s ok. Just let those tears flow and look at another mom. She’ll wink back because she understands this part of motherhood is difficult.
2. Past vs Future:
You’ll want to cling to the past because it’s safe and familiar. You knew what to do when your child was nearby. You had it all under control; you felt confident. You wonder why things have to change?
But then, you relish the idea of your child maturing, discovering their career path, or finding a mate. Hope grows in your heart as you watch your child prosper as an adult.
You’re ready to focus on your dreams too. You’re looking forward to the freedom of an empty nest and renewed connection with your spouse.
3. Regret vs Pride:
You stay awake at night doubting the decisions you made as a parent. You wish you could go back and do some things over again. Maybe you wouldn’t be so harsh. Maybe you could have expected more of them instead of doing everything for your children.
But on the other hand, you might burst with pride for the way your child navigates difficult circumstances, or uses time well, or is a disciplined athlete. You had a part in that and it’s okay to celebrate the ways you parented well.
4. Doubt vs Faith
You’re doubting God’s got your child. Especially the mom whose child struggles in any way: mentally, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. You worry if God will see them through. You wonder why it has to be so hard with this child.
But, you’re a woman of God who is rooted in the Word. You know what it means to hope in God. You lived your whole life walking by faith, trusting God’s sovereign hand over your child’s life.
Emotional swings are a normal part of this season of motherhood. By being self-aware and following the model on navigating worry from Paul’s letter to Phillipians, we’ll feel more grounded as we get ready to launch our seniors in the fall.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa. I am all over the place with these emotions and they’re causing me whiplash. Help me be self-aware to notice them, then bring it all to You. Show me how to lay my fears at Your feet, and experience Your peace. Thank You for walking with me through this unfamiliar transition. Guide and keep me. Amen
Still struggling?
Grab my free guide, Your Kids Are Grown….Now What? It’s a four page guide to help you understand the three different phases of midlife motherhood. You’ll move from the Empty-Feeling mom, the Questioning Mom, and the Celebratory mom. The guide will help you see what to expect next.
Just leave your name and email so I know where to send it.
