How to Hold onto Hope When Your Child Rejects God

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” - Romans 15:13 NLT

Lost Hope

As Julie sat in her comfy chair, tears streaming down her face, she felt the weight of her daughter's words crushing her heart. She could feel the pain of her daughter's rejection of God, like a sharp knife slicing through her very being. She could hear the echo of her daughter's whisper, "Mom, I don't believe in God anymore," replaying in her mind, over and over again, taunting her with the fear that her daughter was lost forever.

She knew her daughter's struggle with faith was not uncommon, but it felt like a personal defeat, a failure as a mother. She tried to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape her chest, but they escaped anyway, wracking her body with every gasping breath.

Julie's heart was heavy with the weight of her daughter's rejection, but she knew that she had to keep fighting for her. She had to keep praying, keep loving, and keep hoping that her daughter would one day come back to the faith that she had known and loved. With each tear that fell, Julie whispered a prayer, pleading for God's help and guidance in this time of darkness.

What do we do when our child rejects God? 

We feel ashamed, betrayed, and hopeless. Our hearts are ripped in pieces.

Yet, surely God knows.

He understands.

He sees us.

He’s moved with compassion when we are distressed.

How can we hold on to hope when our child rejects God?

Fortunately, God is an expert hope infuser. Hope is His specialty. He ladles it out in abundance to hungry hearts who are willing to trust Him. He lavishes it upon His children. Instead of wallowing in doubt, we are invited to connect with the God of hope as He infuses us with His strength.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” - Romans 15:13 NLT

As we talk to God about what weighs heavy on our heart, He fills us with joy and peace because we trust. As the Holy Spirit’s power is upon us, we are able to have confidence in God.

How to Hold on to Hope

1. Surrender your child to God:

You struggle the most when you cling. You want a say in the outcome with our adult child. You hold on tightly, most times blocking God’s work. You’re distressed but God is not dismayed. As you release your tight grip on outcomes, you find peace. 

As you yield to God’s greater purposes and plans, you feel strength. Surely the God of the Universe can be trusted. God is at work. He’s doing more than you can see. Confident, you lay down your rights and trust God is drawing your child to HImself. You don’t have to be in control anymore.

“O my son, give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways.” - Proverbs 23:26

2. Practice acceptance:

You had a vision for your child, and it did not include them wrestling with their faith or rejecting God. You were certain if you taught them to love God, they would never stray. This expectation causes immense emotional distress.The surest way to find peace is to release expectations and practice radical acceptance. 

According to mental health professional, Marsha Linehan, “Radical acceptance is a practice that helps us evaluate situations and work to reduce the emotional burden of the reality of the situation like resentment, anger, hatred, or shame.” When we learn to accept reality, the emotional distress lessons. We can take it a step further and ask God to help us with this process. 

We look to the prodigal's father, in the book of Luke, for cues on how to act toward our wayward child. The father didn’t fuss and carry on when the son asked to leave. He simply agreed and sent him on his way.  This is radical acceptance.

“The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.” - Luke 15:12

The father released the son and let him squander his wealth on wild living. When the son returned he did not judge or criticize. He welcomed him with love and compassion. So can you, when your child returns to God.

 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” - Luke 15:20

3. Be honest with God:

There’s no need for you to pretend that this isn’t hard. God invites you to be honest as you bring him your disappointment. 

Instead of being embittered with God, you are invited to be candid.

 As you talk to God honestly, then you give him the authority to do the same with you. That’s how relationships work.There’s a give and take. As you pour out your heart, God will comfort you and give you the strength you long for. You will find the courage to stand and remain unmoved, as our Father gives you directives for this season of waiting.

“God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.” - Matthew 5:8

4. Remain tethered to God:

Our connection to God is the vehicle upon which hope is distributed. God freely gives hope when we move closer to Him. This is the season to draw near, hunger for more of God, and find satisfaction in Him alone.

Pastor and Ministry Leader, Peter Scezzero calls this your “loving union” and it describes it perfectly. When you are close to God, you can discern His love. You can be confident in Him no matter what you see. In the waiting, you are invited to trust God and find the reassurance you need.

 “Come close to God, and God will come close to you.” - James 4:8

We feel overwhelmed when our children wrestle with their faith, but this is no time to give up on God. As we surrender our children to God, practice radical acceptance, be honest, and remain close to God, we’ll experience the peace we long for.

Mommas, we need to hold on to God because He will get us through. 

Let’s pray.

Dear Papa, it hurts to see my child reject his faith. I’m frustrated and hopeless. Help me lean into my relationship with You as You provide the comfort and reassurance I need. Thank You for drawing my child with Your love. Help me find confidence in You. Amen.

Still struggling?

Listen to this episode 44, The Shame We Carry When Our Child Is Far From God, on The Midlife Momma Podcast here.

Grab my free four page guide, Your Kids Are Grown…Now What? for what to expect as you move through the midlife stages of motherhood: The Empty-Feeling Mom, The Questioning Mom, and The Celebratory Mom.

Can you guess which phase you’re at?  I’ll explain more in the guide.

We'll address these key areas:

*Find Your Purpose

*Trust God

*Maintain Boundaries

* Hope for Wayward Kids

*Healthy Relationship with Child's Spouse

*Strong Marriages

Just leave your name and email, so I know where to send it.