How To Have An Intimate Connection With God

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How To Have An Intimate Connection With God

“As for me, the nearness of God is our good: I have made the Lord my refuge.” -Psalm 73:28


Observation

As a newlywed and young Christian, I am hungry for the things of God. I didn’t grow up in the church, nor do I have mentors or family members to guide me in my relationship with God. My greatest influencers are the people I attend church with. I quietly begin to observe people in our church. My motive isn’t to judge, it’s seemly to glean what it means to love God. I’m curious about how to be a young woman who serves God. There are a couple of women who stick out to me: Angie and Elizabeth.

Angie is a happily married mother of three. She works outside of the home and volunteers at church. The phrase she uses most often is, “I’m so busy!” She carries tension in her face and rarely smiles. Chatting with her in the foyer is typically rushed and filled with distress. She seems tired, bitter, and overwhelmed. It looks like she needs a break, but she rarely takes one as she busies herself in the body of Christ.

Then there is Elizabeth. She is close to retirement age but she acts like she’s thirty. She is petite and wears the latest fashion trends. Her kids are grown and she has grandkids, but she also calls me “kid” like I’m one of hers. It’s the sweetest term of endearment. It doesn’t matter if you’re four or fifty-five, she’s going to call you “kid!”

She smiles easily and has an irresistible twinkle in her eye as she speaks. It’s like she knows a secret. She is loved by everyone and oozes Biblical knowledge and grace. She shares her struggles and trials openly. Her life is accessible to all as she shares her pain to encourage others. She points me to Jesus every time I talk to her. I can’t wait to be in her presence.

She serves endlessly as the church but has a lightness about her. Joy, peace, and grace flow from her tongue. She never uses the phrase, “I’m so busy” as she slows to minister to young and old each Sunday. She pauses and prays for you in the hallway or offers an encouraging word. She talks to God with honesty and conviction. She believes God will answer her prayers. She’s the kind of woman I want to be.

For the first nine years of our marriage, Elizabeth became my dear friend and mentor. She hangs out with me at my house and we talk about marriage, parenting, and the goodness of God. I glean wisdom and insight on how to relate to God. I listen to her rattle off Bible verses with ease because she walks in truth. She gives me a love for the Word.

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Best Blog Posts of 2020

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Best Blog Posts of 2020

For the month of December, I’m sharing some of my bests posts of 2020! Be encouraged, Beloved Friends!

She Loves God But He Seems Distant

I’ve been thinking about this woman a lot. Maybe you know her?

She loves God. She’s walked with Him for many years, but she’s tired. She’s tired of the same old relationship. She keeps trying to work her way to Him by doing all the right things. She’s diligent but utterly frustrated. Deep down she feels empty but doesn’t know what to do.

She loves God, but He seems distant and she can’t figure out why. She’s gone through her mental checklist:

  • I’m serving Him by giving of my time, gifts, and finances. Check.

  • I attend church regularly. Check.

  • I throw up some prayers in the morning. Check

  • I try to get along with my husband. Check.

  • I’m raising these kids the best I know-how. Check.

  • I try to read the Bible. Check.

Yet, even after doing all these things for God, she’s not quite connecting with God. She reads her Bible, but there’s no wonder jumping off the pages. She can’t always relate to the stories or understand how they apply to her. She tries to listen for God’s voice, but mostly she hears the lies of condemnation and shame, or she hears nothing at all. This reinforces her lack, which causes her to move farther away from God.

She’s praying about things, deep things, hard things, and yet it feels like her prayers bounce off the ceiling. She’s begged, pleaded, even bargained with God, and still, He doesn’t answer her prayers the way she wants, so she assumes He’s mad at her.

She longs for something deeper and richer but is frustrated with how to get there. The formulas fall flat, the awe of God is gone. She feels alone, isolated, and disappointed in her relationship with God.

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How To Have A Pure Heart With God

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How To Have A Pure Heart With God

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit with me. Psalm 51:10

My Shattered Heart

I pull myself out of bed this early winter morning, groping for coffee, and slump into my favorite chair. I need this time with Papa while the house is still quiet. I tell Him all about the “mean people” in my life. I feel like a child tattle-telling to the teacher. I pour it out, all of it, as angry tears roll down my cheeks. It feels good to get it off my chest. I don’t pretend with God as He and I are open about everything.

I scan the Word for some truth that will penetrate my wounded heart. I’m too distracted by my pain. Nothing from the Bible is speaking to me so I slam it shut. I sit weepy and angry before God, secretly dreaming of how God will handle them. I feel a deep sense of injustice rising in my bones. Their behavior and judgments are laced with Pharisaical pride.

As I’m dreaming about how God will handle them, I hear the Spirit whisper, “this isn’t about them, this is about you.” I’m jostled back to my senses as Papa continues with these gentle words. “You are not responsible for their behavior, you’re only responsible for how you treat them.”

Well, Papa might as well punched me! But He is right. I’m responsible for the behavior and attitude that flows from my heart. God asks us to pray for those who hurt us. He even says to love our enemies. My heart sinks because I know it’s true.

In this tender moment, I ask God to create a pure heart in me. One that honors Him and does what He says, even when it’s hard and especially when I don’t want to. He reassures me that He will handle them as well, without my help. It’s shocking how God doesn’t need my help with others. The truth be known, I am only responsible for myself and my heart.

Our Heart Condition

In addition to humility, the next thing we need to look at is the state of our hearts. How does the condition of our hearts affect our connection with God and His ability to teach us? Only the pure in heart will see God. What does that mean for us when don’t always have the purest motives before God? What is the heart anyway?

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Vulnerability Brings Us Closer to God

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Vulnerability Brings Us Closer to God

“We come closer to God and approach him with an open heart, fully convinced that nothing will keep us at a distance from him.” -Hebrews 10:22 TPT

Honest Conversation With God

It’s late afternoon, in early spring, as I peer at the clouds outside my window. The grey day amplifies the dreariness in my heart; I cannot shake the sadness, as melancholy has is my unwelcome companion. My sunny disposition is buried in the loss of people, comfort, and health.

We are four weeks into the pandemic, and I have only left the house once a week for groceries and once a week on Sundays to go record the live stream message with my hubby, the pastor.

I crawl into my favorite chair in my office. I wrap myself in a cozy blanket, and I weep. The floodgates open as I unload my grief. I don’t even recognize it as grief, at first. I miss people. I miss connection and conversation. I’m worried about our grown kids. Will my elderly parents with fragile bodies survive this pandemic? I am also overwhelmed by the political upheaval in our nation. I pour out my sadness to Papa.

I don’t have to pretend with Papa. He already knows everything that’s going on inside. He doesn’t judge me or condemn me. I hear Him whisper, “Go ahead and cry, Honey. I’m right here. I know this is scary and unfamiliar. I know you miss all your people immensely, but I’m here, I’m with you. I’ll help you through this.”

I feel the warmth of God’s peace as real as my cozy blanket. I’m going to keep coming back to this place whenever I’m overwhelmed. Papa’s love calms me best. I’m glad I can be honest with Him. I’m thankful for His loving-kindness towards me in my pain.

God is Safe

There is nothing blocking us from being close to God because Jesus covers our shame. We are safe with God. He allows us to draw near with the full assurance of His love. The Father is happy to see us, but He’s not looking for the cleaned-up version of ourselves. He wants us to be “real.” He’s not looking for the Sunday morning, mask-wearing version. You know, the one that is polished, perfect, and says “I’m fine!” That version rarely draws near to God.

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Jesus Bore our Shame So We Can Be Close to God

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Jesus Bore our Shame So We Can Be Close to God

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”- Hebrews 12:2

As we move forward with learning to be vulnerable to God, we must talk about how shame affects our relationship with our Creator. Shame keeps us from connection with God.

My Companion, Shame

I arrive early to high school and hear a commotion in the gym. I quietly open a side door so as to not draw attention and peer inside. The gym is filled with excited students, all standing at different tables with the State signs lifted high. It’s Student Council elections and oh, how I wish I was amidst the crowd of students. I’m organized, competent, and friendly, all the qualities necessary for leadership, but no one knows that about me.

Shame won’t allow me to join. Shame has been my constant companion for many years ever taunting me, crushing my heart, and making me feel small and worthless. She’s like a heavy, itchy coat I need to take off, but she keeps me safe, ever hidden, never exposed. She also hinders my ability to connect or belong.

Shame speaks loudly and harshly, filling my mind with words of condemnation. “You’re not good enough.” “If only they knew.” Shame belittles and lies. But I’m not strong enough to recognize the lies, so I continue to wear the uncomfortable coat.

Shame shapes every interaction I have with people. It makes me afraid to try new things for fear of rejection. Oh, how I resent those who are fearless. See, shame tells me I must pretend as I plaster on the smile and the optimistic outlook. Can they see the sadness behind my eyes? Is my brokenness amplified in their brave confidence? If they knew what was hidden inside, they’d want nothing to do with me.

Shame tells me I’m flawed, there’s no good in me. I imagine these kids in the gym come from beautiful families, where a peaceful conversation is held around the dinner table. They don’t go to sleep listening to the alcoholic step-dad arguing with their mom. If they knew what my home was like, they’d reject me, so instead, I hide.

Meeting Jesus at age twenty-one changes everything. I’m told He bore my sin and shame Himself. He literally took it for me. Jesus bore my shame on the cross, so I can draw near to God. God sees me as beautiful, cherished, lovely because Jesus stands between me and God. Jesus covers the ugliness of my sin and shame. It’s the best news I ever heard.

Brene Brown says, “People who aren’t good with vulnerability are usually really good at shame.”

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It's Safe to Be Vulnerable With God

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It's Safe to Be Vulnerable With God

“Behold you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”- Psalm 51:6

Vulnerability With God

As we grow in our intimate connection with God it’s important to learn to be vulnerable with God. Some believe vulnerability makes us weak or feel out of control. Others are afraid to be vulnerable with God because shame tells them they are not worthy. The truth is vulnerability is the gateway to connection.

When I was going through a particularly stressful season in our ministry life, I learned about the vulnerability of King David as described in the Psalms. David’s words are raw, honest, almost painful in their vulnerability. He pours out his heart to God like nothing I’ve ever seen. He would become the model I used for my relationship with God.

Let’s look at an example: Psalm 142:1-7

“I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him, I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my life.

I cry to you, Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion, in the land of the living. Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.”

David is experiencing deep sorrow. He feels abandoned and in need. He feels emotionally exhausted and weak, but instead of hiding from God, he runs to God and pours it all out. There’s no hesitation, or mask. David feels seen, understood, and heard. He then goes on to declare the goodness of God. What a beautiful way to relate to God.

In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says this about vulnerability:

“Our rejection of vulnerability often stems from associating it with dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment-emotions that we don’t want to discuss, even when they profoundly affect the way we live, love, and work. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

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