How to Reconnect When You Feel Distant

How to Reconnect When You Feel Distant

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” - Ecclesiastes 4:12

Our Daily Returning

Hubby and I gathered at our bright kitchen island as worship music played softly from the Alexa atop the fridge. He carried the stress and pressure of leading a church. I lugged the weight of being self-employed as a writer and life coach. Cooking together is a way to relax and unwind after a busy day.

He peeled the carrots and chopped the onions with precision, while I warmed the Dutch oven on the stove with a splash of olive oil. “How was your day?” he asked. “Good, I got a lot done at my desk, but my upper back is killing me,” I replied. With warm eyes, he met me at the stove and rubbed the tension away with his strong hands.  

He returned to chopping, deep in thought. “What are you thinking about, honey,” I asked. “I’m just processing a situation,” he said introspectively. I leave him to his thoughts because I know this is the best way for him to come to a solution. I eased over to him and wrapped myself around his tall frame and said, “I love you. You’re my favorite.” He smiled and leaned in for a kiss.

Cooking together feels like a lovely dance. He does all the chopping while I work my magic at the stove. We talk, process, and enjoy each other's company. This is our daily rhythm, the place where we find our way back to each other. The place we reconnect. 

Do you have a way to reconnect with your spouse?

In our midlife marriages we often feel distant from our mates. The cares of the world and the stress of children take a toll, and we have little left to support one another. We’ve been focused on our offspring for decades, leaving distance between us. This can cause us to feel disconnected. 

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List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

List the Gifts To Feel Close to God

Even though we are past Thanksgiving season, I want to carry gratitude into the rest of my days because the practice of keeping a gratitude list holds the key to feel close to God. The discipline of writing down a list each day changed me.

My Gray World

I sit in the dim early morning hours frustrated, empty, prayers don’t come. God seems far away. I open the Word but nothing speaks to me. The world feels grey. Where is the joy? Am I bored? Where has my usual sunny disposition gone? I feel unsettled, so unlike myself. God seems far away and I’ve lost the wonder. What can I do? Something needs to change.

I remember the book, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.  There had been a buzz about it in Christian circles, and I knew I needed to read it; maybe it held a key.  I devoured the book then invited a few friends over to watch the video series with me. Her words captured me. She’s an artist and poet and spoke vulnerably of the pain she experienced, and how God showed her Himself through the act of keeping a gratitude journal. The book and practice of gratitude would change me forever and bring me closer to God.

“Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the world.”-Sarah Ban Breathnach 

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