Why It's Important to Pray for Your Adult Child
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The Invitation to Pray
Have you ever had a directive straight from heaven? I heard the Spirit whisper clearly one day, “If you don’t pray for your adult children, who will?”
The impact of that question rattled around in my heart and head. Aside from their grandma, who was praying for our adult children? Besides their dad and I, who was interceding on their behalf? Maybe someone from church? Maybe their pastor? Maybe a few friends or their in-laws? The list seemed quite short in my estimation.
The significance of my “yes” to pray seemed magnified. “Challenge accepted, Holy Spirit!” I whispered.
We often feel unsettled when kids grow up and leave. We see them less often, and we have diminished impact over their choices. They have free will. They get to make their own path. This is God’s will for humanity. God wants our kids to choose Him but He will not force His hand. Instead He lovingly calls them to His heart.
We need to remember we still have influence through our prayers.
Your Prayers Matter
It’s a privilege to pray for our adult kids as they navigate relationships, health trials, young marriage, career choices, parenting “littles”, cultural wars, and what they believe about God.
Prayer is one thing we can do for our adult children. It’s an honor and privilege to intercede on their behalf. Prayer is the tool we use to surrender our wishes, and hold fast to the promises of God.
Momma, you know how we are as moms. We think we know best and when life with our child doesn’t go how we think it should, we get a little upset. We question God’s goodness, we doubt His presence, and we feel abandoned.
Prayer is the method we use to reorient our hearts to God.
Stormie Omartian said it best in her book, The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children, “Prayer is not telling God what to do. Prayer is partnering with God to see that His will is done.”
More than anything we want God’s will done in our children’s lives. Even the ones who doubt He is real or feel hurt by the church. Our continual prayer is they would have a fresh revelation of His great love for them.
What is God’s perspective on prayer?
Prayer is God’s idea. It is the way we communicate with the Almighty. It’s a give and take exchange and requires speaking and listening. When practiced with a surrendered heart, it has a lasting impact. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. - James 5:16b NLT
Prayer is where God speaks to us, and we listen to what He says. Nancy Lee DeMoss calls prayer “the great exchange” where we trade our heartache and fear for God’s peace and presence.
How about you? What could your life look like if you spent less time worrying and more time praying for your adult children?
Four reasons why it’s important to pray for your adult children:
1. If you don’t pray for them, who will?
You hold a special place of honor as a parent to your child. You know them well. You’ve studied them for years. You know what causes them pain or ways they need to grow. You may feel restrained now that you have less influence over their decisions. When you feel powerless, remember you have the privilege to bow before God on their behalf. Prayer is the one active step you can take. Prayer changes hearts and moves the hand of God. This is the power of prayer.
2. Prayer is partnering with God.
We are not left alone to navigate this transition in our parenthood. We are invited to partner with the King of All. The Creator, Sustainer, and Author of our Faith. The same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead lives in you after you receive salvation. You get to connect hearts with God as you pray His will for your children. This brings immeasurable peace and confidence, no matter what your child faces. As you lean into the omnipotence of God, you’ll feel tension released, and hope bubbling up. This is the power of prayer.
3. Prayer will deliver you from fear.
When you are afraid, it’s usually because you’re focusing on circumstances instead of God. Prayer reorients your heart to God’s ability. It reminds you of the character of God. As you recount His steadfastness, faithfulness, power, and unprecedented activity on the earth, you remember there is nothing to fear when God is near. You lift your eyes to His face and are met with immeasurable compassion, grace, and reassurance. This is the power of prayer.
4. Your prayers are powerful.
You have the Holy Spirit living inside of you and He is the source of all power, so partnering with Him through prayer has a lasting impact on your grown children. “You must believe that because the love and power of God are poured out in you, your prayers for your adult children will always have power. Because your prayers have power, you will always have hope.” - Stormie Omartain.
“Hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”- Romans 5:5 Our children are not immune to difficult seasons or consequences of their choices. Your prayers will help them make it through. This is the power of prayer.
What are the most productive ways to pray?
In her book, The Power of Praying for Your Adult Children, Stormie OMartian recommends praying for these areas. Pray that your adult children will:
See God pour out His Spirit on them
Develop a heart for God, His Word, and His ways
Grow in wisdom, discernment, and revelation
Find freedom, restoration, and wholeness
Understand God’s purpose for their lives
Work successfully and have financial stability
Have a sound mind and right attitude
Resist evil influences and destructive behavior
Avoid all sexual pollution and temptation
Experience good health and God’s healing
Enjoy a successful marriage and raise Godly children
Maintain strong and fulfilling relationships
Be protected and survive tough times
Recognize their need for God
Walk into the future God has for them
One opportunity that can never be taken from us is our ability to pray for our adult child. We get to partner with God as He aids and assists our grown children. Prayer will bring us the peace we desperately need so we can “let go” and get on with living the beautiful life God has for us once our active parenting is over. When we view prayer as a privilege and sacred honor, we are changed. This is the power of prayer.
Let’s pray.
Dear Papa, I understand praying for my adult child is an opportunity to partner with you for the good of my child. I want to see Your will in their lives. I want them to experience your deep love and grace as they navigate the challenges of adulthood. Help me not be lazy with my prayers. Ignite a passion within me to intercede for my grown child because I understand this significant role I play in my child’s life. Amen.
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