How to Taste God's Goodness

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How to Taste God's Goodness

We are finishing up the final attribute needed for a close connection with God: a hunger for God’s Word. Have you ever thought about your relationship with the Bible and how that impacts your connection with God? We’ll be talking about it all month on the blog. Today day I’ve invited a dear friend, Sarah Butterfield, to share a beautiful piece she wrote about how to taste God’s goodness. You’re going to love this.

How to Taste God’s Goodness

When we moved to France when I was seven, my mom discovered that peanut butter was an American product. She searched high and low in every grocery store, determined to find that quick and easy lunch spread. One day, she came home with a tin can: she had finally found peanut butter in a specialty grocery store, imported from North Africa! She opened it with a can opener and although the stuff inside was hard to spread, it tasted fine.

The French preferred their Nutella, a snack my mom only gave us as a dessert. Our French friends would scrunch their noses in disgust when my mom talked about peanut butter. “You mean a butter? Made from peanuts? Ew!”

One Sunday at a church potluck, my mom made a chocolate cake. For the frosting, she whipped together equal parts Nutella and peanut butter. Our French friends loved it and raved about the frosting. My mom waited until everyone had finished their slice before revealing that there was peanut butter in the recipe!

In high school, I met Liz. She had grown up in Jakarta as a missionary kid, and she was in love with peanut butter. I had never met a bigger fan. She put it on rice, on noodles, on chicken even! Liz was the one who told me to try peanut butter with apple slices. I was skeptical, having only heard of peanut butter on bananas or celery stalks. She cut up a green apple and topped it with a dollop of peanut butter in a bowl for me. An unlikely combination I thought. But, not wanting to offend, I took a bite, and my world was opened wide. The cool, crisp tartness of the apple alongside the smooth, savory peanut butter was a revelation. I became an instant fan. That was the year I also discovered pretzels and peanut butter, so you could say that it was a time of tremendous personal growth.

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How To Have An Intimate Connection With God

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How To Have An Intimate Connection With God

“As for me, the nearness of God is our good: I have made the Lord my refuge.” -Psalm 73:28


Observation

As a newlywed and young Christian, I am hungry for the things of God. I didn’t grow up in the church, nor do I have mentors or family members to guide me in my relationship with God. My greatest influencers are the people I attend church with. I quietly begin to observe people in our church. My motive isn’t to judge, it’s seemly to glean what it means to love God. I’m curious about how to be a young woman who serves God. There are a couple of women who stick out to me: Angie and Elizabeth.

Angie is a happily married mother of three. She works outside of the home and volunteers at church. The phrase she uses most often is, “I’m so busy!” She carries tension in her face and rarely smiles. Chatting with her in the foyer is typically rushed and filled with distress. She seems tired, bitter, and overwhelmed. It looks like she needs a break, but she rarely takes one as she busies herself in the body of Christ.

Then there is Elizabeth. She is close to retirement age but she acts like she’s thirty. She is petite and wears the latest fashion trends. Her kids are grown and she has grandkids, but she also calls me “kid” like I’m one of hers. It’s the sweetest term of endearment. It doesn’t matter if you’re four or fifty-five, she’s going to call you “kid!”

She smiles easily and has an irresistible twinkle in her eye as she speaks. It’s like she knows a secret. She is loved by everyone and oozes Biblical knowledge and grace. She shares her struggles and trials openly. Her life is accessible to all as she shares her pain to encourage others. She points me to Jesus every time I talk to her. I can’t wait to be in her presence.

She serves endlessly as the church but has a lightness about her. Joy, peace, and grace flow from her tongue. She never uses the phrase, “I’m so busy” as she slows to minister to young and old each Sunday. She pauses and prays for you in the hallway or offers an encouraging word. She talks to God with honesty and conviction. She believes God will answer her prayers. She’s the kind of woman I want to be.

For the first nine years of our marriage, Elizabeth became my dear friend and mentor. She hangs out with me at my house and we talk about marriage, parenting, and the goodness of God. I glean wisdom and insight on how to relate to God. I listen to her rattle off Bible verses with ease because she walks in truth. She gives me a love for the Word.

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The Best Blog Posts of 2020

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The Best Blog Posts of 2020

For the month of December, I’m highlighting my favorite posts from 2020. This one is about learning to calm the chaos and overwhelm so we can hear God’s voice. Enjoy!

Overwhelm All-Around

The alarm jars me from a deep sleep. I groan and roll-over, fully aware of my schedule ahead. How am I already tired when the day hasn’t started? I reach for my comfy robe, grab a cup of coffee, and head to my spot. You know, the place I meet with Jesus in the morning. I imagine peace and joy but I’m met with frustration and anger. I try to quiet my racing thoughts. “Focus,” I tell myself. “You can deal with it later. It’s time to concentrate on God.”

Even my quiet time with God feels forced. Where’s the comfort and connection I crave? I’m feeling empty and spent. I wonder if God is disappointed in me?

I get the kids up and breakfast ready. We leave half-eaten bowls of cereal lining the counter as I scoot them out the door with dad. He’ll tell lots of bad dad jokes and they’ll blare the Journey soundtrack on the way to school. It’s the most they’ll see of him, as he’s a pastor and has lots of things to do. There are always meetings, planning, people in crisis, strife to handle. It never ends for a pastor and his wife. Balancing the logistical needs of a large family with the needs of the church is a whole thing in and of itself.

As I wave them out the door, my mind lands on the challenges my kids, these five cherubs ranging from preschool to high school, are facing these days. How in the world do I have a child in every age range? We’re dealing with growing pains, emotional distress, friendship trouble, homework stress, and bullies at school. The issues are similar, but our kid's ages require different approaches when parenting them through these issues.

I gather the abandoned bowls and rinse them off as I go over my to-do list for the day in my head. Each kid has their own schedule to keep and homework to get done. There are the drop-off and pick-up schedules to mind and dinner to make. Should I tackle laundry first or work on my Bible study for discussion tonight? Oh, wait, I have a dance meeting at four! The little girls have dance rehearsal, Keenan has a concert, Moriah is heading to Sam’s house and Caleb will want to go hang out with a friend after school.

I feel the tightness in my neck and notice my shallow breathing. A wave of low-grade anger simmers below the surface. I’m not mad at people, I’m just frustrated my schedule is so crazy.

I’m overwhelmed by the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those around me. Really, I’d just like to escape.

Calm the Chaos

The busy days of kids at home are long gone, but I’ll never forget the feelings of overwhelm I lived with most of the time.

Our endless “to-do” list, unrealistic expectations, need for perfection, and limited capacity, leads to overwhelm.

Overwhelm manifests as racing thoughts, tightness in our chest, and weary bodies. We feel this immense pressure.

These past weeks we’ve been talking about hearing God’s voice, but this is very difficult for a person who is overwhelmed. The only voice we hear is the one that screams, “You’re not enough.” “This is too hard.” “Everyone is counting on me.” “If I say ‘no’, they’ll be disappointed in me.”

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Best Blog Posts of 2020

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Best Blog Posts of 2020


For December I’m highlighting some of my favorite posts from 2020. I hope this encourages you.

How to Feel Secure When You’re Upset

As we look at what it means to be secure in Christ, we need to remember it’s not just physically, but emotionally. When the circumstances in our lives are filled with pressure and we feel trapped by pain, loss, despair, or anxiety, there’s a place we can go for sweet relief.

“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because He delighted in me.”

Psalm 18:19

I’m Emotionally Spent

I’m feeling the weight of it all today. This diagnosis has robbed my husband, Bob, of the ability to speak clearly; his mobility is taxed and his energy drained. Bob’s anxiety shoots through the roof as he wakes up each day with different limitations. Chronic Progressive Multiple Sclerosis is a thief robbing him of his ability to work, provide, and engage in everyday life.

He retreats to his bed often, spent from emotional and physical exhaustion. Normally, he would push through exhaustion. He’s hard-headed, driven to accomplish tasks, and values hard work, however, his body defies his request to produce.

I’m left carrying the load with our three small children. The days feel long. I want to return to our old lives. This medical nightmare leaves me feeling alone and misunderstood. My days are filled with cooking, cleaning, parenting, and trying to navigate this ever-changing disease with my husband. There are new pressures and stress as we look forward to a disease with no cure. We face doctors who make educated guesses on how to treat the unending symptoms of memory loss, muscle spasms, tremors, and continuous nerve damage.

Each day I sneak away to a spacious place where God rescues me from worry, doubt, and fear. It’s not my reality, but by faith, I can confirm it’s existence. It’s a quiet place where Papa and I meet. I pour out my anguish, lost dreams, and endless trials. I unload my fears for the future, as the weight begins to lift. I rehearse the promises from scripture, and I hold on to hope, even when my reality is hopeless. I meditate on God’s goodness and character.

Being with Him, in this roomy space, helps me focus less on my troubles. Isn’t that the point of this walk with God, more of Him and less of me?

See, I imagine me and Papa in this perfect, expansive spot. This boundless area is void of sorrow and trouble. In my mind, it’s a meadow, full of flowers; the sun shines bright as God whispers His love. Other days I imagine a majestic mountain top, where God has brought me to sit with Him.

He stays with me and holds me. He tells me I’m seen. He speaks of His delight in me, which I can hardly believe because I’m just trying to hold it all together. He says, “Please don’t feel you must hold it all together, that’s my job. Your job is surrender.” I sigh and once again, release control, understanding, and will.

He assures me of His love and compassion in the messy middle of hardship. When I cry, “God, I can’t do this,” He lovingly asks me the same question. “Do you trust Me?” As warm tears roll down my cheeks, I whisper, “I do.”

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Best Blog Posts of 2020

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Best Blog Posts of 2020

For the month of December, I’m sharing some of my bests posts of 2020! Be encouraged, Beloved Friends!

She Loves God But He Seems Distant

I’ve been thinking about this woman a lot. Maybe you know her?

She loves God. She’s walked with Him for many years, but she’s tired. She’s tired of the same old relationship. She keeps trying to work her way to Him by doing all the right things. She’s diligent but utterly frustrated. Deep down she feels empty but doesn’t know what to do.

She loves God, but He seems distant and she can’t figure out why. She’s gone through her mental checklist:

  • I’m serving Him by giving of my time, gifts, and finances. Check.

  • I attend church regularly. Check.

  • I throw up some prayers in the morning. Check

  • I try to get along with my husband. Check.

  • I’m raising these kids the best I know-how. Check.

  • I try to read the Bible. Check.

Yet, even after doing all these things for God, she’s not quite connecting with God. She reads her Bible, but there’s no wonder jumping off the pages. She can’t always relate to the stories or understand how they apply to her. She tries to listen for God’s voice, but mostly she hears the lies of condemnation and shame, or she hears nothing at all. This reinforces her lack, which causes her to move farther away from God.

She’s praying about things, deep things, hard things, and yet it feels like her prayers bounce off the ceiling. She’s begged, pleaded, even bargained with God, and still, He doesn’t answer her prayers the way she wants, so she assumes He’s mad at her.

She longs for something deeper and richer but is frustrated with how to get there. The formulas fall flat, the awe of God is gone. She feels alone, isolated, and disappointed in her relationship with God.

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How To Have A Pure Heart With God

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How To Have A Pure Heart With God

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a right spirit with me. Psalm 51:10

My Shattered Heart

I pull myself out of bed this early winter morning, groping for coffee, and slump into my favorite chair. I need this time with Papa while the house is still quiet. I tell Him all about the “mean people” in my life. I feel like a child tattle-telling to the teacher. I pour it out, all of it, as angry tears roll down my cheeks. It feels good to get it off my chest. I don’t pretend with God as He and I are open about everything.

I scan the Word for some truth that will penetrate my wounded heart. I’m too distracted by my pain. Nothing from the Bible is speaking to me so I slam it shut. I sit weepy and angry before God, secretly dreaming of how God will handle them. I feel a deep sense of injustice rising in my bones. Their behavior and judgments are laced with Pharisaical pride.

As I’m dreaming about how God will handle them, I hear the Spirit whisper, “this isn’t about them, this is about you.” I’m jostled back to my senses as Papa continues with these gentle words. “You are not responsible for their behavior, you’re only responsible for how you treat them.”

Well, Papa might as well punched me! But He is right. I’m responsible for the behavior and attitude that flows from my heart. God asks us to pray for those who hurt us. He even says to love our enemies. My heart sinks because I know it’s true.

In this tender moment, I ask God to create a pure heart in me. One that honors Him and does what He says, even when it’s hard and especially when I don’t want to. He reassures me that He will handle them as well, without my help. It’s shocking how God doesn’t need my help with others. The truth be known, I am only responsible for myself and my heart.

Our Heart Condition

In addition to humility, the next thing we need to look at is the state of our hearts. How does the condition of our hearts affect our connection with God and His ability to teach us? Only the pure in heart will see God. What does that mean for us when don’t always have the purest motives before God? What is the heart anyway?

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Humility Empowers Us to Connect Deeply With God.

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Humility Empowers Us to Connect Deeply With God.

“But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” - James 4:6

The Tension of Pride

I feel the pull of the Spirit as a battle rages in my thoughts. I’m tired of the ongoing conflict with a person at my church. Honestly, I can’t pinpoint how or why the conflict started. There are endless verbal scuffles that are exhausting. Maybe it’s because we’re both strong women. She’s thirty years older than me, and I feel like she should be the mature one. “Why do I have to apologize?”, I think. Yet, here I am on a Sunday morning, minding my own business, and God wants to deal with me.

“I don’t want to talk to her. I don’t want to face this. Lord, she’s just a crabby, bitter person. Why do I have to go to her?” My flesh does not want to do this, but God’s love compels me to do the right thing. I make the decision to apologize. I sigh and wipe the tears from my cheek. “God, I will humble myself and go to her.”

I gingerly approach Debra, and I pull her aside into a quiet classroom. I’m thankful there’s no one around, and God has provided this moment of privacy. She has no idea what I’m going to say. I see the tension in her face. I feel tightness in my back, but I approach her with humility and a warm smile. I feel a peace come over me as I apologize. Debra, grins and in her gravelly voice, says, “It’s okay, I forgive you.”

The conversation takes less than three minutes, but it changes our relationship forever. Humility shifts our perspective. The humble aren’t defensive or demanding. The lowly long to connect. No longer do I see her as a bitter woman, instead, I see her as a hurting woman who needs to be loved.

Humilities Way

Pride may be the strongest force keeping us from an intimate connection with God. If we’re honest, we all struggle with pride. I know I have for years. I’m constantly saying or doing the wrong thing because pride likes to have the upper hand. How do we recognize pride in ourselves?

Characteristics of pride:

*It’s bossy.

*It’s demanding

*It puffs up

*It judges others as inferior

*It hates correction

*It craves attention

*It needs to be right

When there’s tension in a relationship, often humility is the road to restoration.

Do you feel strain in your relationship with God? Are you avoiding Him altogether? Is there something God is asking you to humble yourself about, but you just don’t want to? Friend, I understand this heart stance well. I have struggled with pride. I want to be right, but I’ve found this isn’t the best avenue for true connection with God.

Humility leads to connection. Meekness says, “I’ll go low, God, so you can be exalted in me.” A humble heart recognizes it doesn’t know everything, and it wants to learn and grow.

True growth begins with laying down our rights and humbly asking God what He has for us in any area of our lives. God wants to nurture our relationships, our purpose, our future, but He cannot build us if our heart posture is arrogant.

God’s Word says He gives grace to the humble. Isn’t that a beautiful thought? God’s power is apportioned to those who lower themselves and ask for it. We can quiet ourselves before God, or He will humble us, and I promise the latter is more painful.

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Don't Be A Know It All With God.

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Don't Be A Know It All With God.

“Teach my Your way, O Lord, that I may live according to your truth! Grant me purity of heart, so that I may honor you.” Psalm 86:11 NLT

The next attribute we’ll focus on as we grow in our intimacy with God is having a teachable spirit. In order to feel closer to God, we need a stance of surrender and a moldable, teachable heart.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

* Am I teachable?

* Am I a “know it all”?

* Do I recognize the areas of my life that need growth and healing?

* Am I blind to the true state of my heart?

* Have I let apathy creep in so I’m content with the distance between me and God?

Hungry to Learn

I listen intently as the teacher talks about sanctification. He’s dressed in a suit and tie. He’s authoritative and strong, yet he has a warm smile. Everyone else in the room wears their Sunday best. He’s a wise man in our church, and the room is filled to capacity with eager learners of all ages. He stands in front of a large whiteboard filled with scripture and terms. I don't think I’ve ever heard the term sanctification. I’m new to Christ, and I’m hungry for knowledge. I know nothing of the Bible or principles of the Christian faith. I just know my life has changed, and I long for restoration and growth. It’s all-new, the terms are unfamiliar, but I soak up all the goodness, like a thirsty child drinking from the garden hose on a hot summer day.

I flip through my new Bible with the tabs because I’m not familiar with where the books are located. I feel child-like, filled with wonder and awe about all the things I can learn about God. The wise teacher asks questions, and I listen to the banter, hoping someday to contribute. My heart is set towards God, and I want to learn. Maybe one day I’ll have the courage to contribute to the discussion. Not today. For now, I’m comfortable being a student at Jesus’ feet, learning and growing in grace and knowledge. Teach me Lord, is the cry of my heart as I read the Word and continue to study.

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Vulnerability Brings Us Closer to God

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Vulnerability Brings Us Closer to God

“We come closer to God and approach him with an open heart, fully convinced that nothing will keep us at a distance from him.” -Hebrews 10:22 TPT

Honest Conversation With God

It’s late afternoon, in early spring, as I peer at the clouds outside my window. The grey day amplifies the dreariness in my heart; I cannot shake the sadness, as melancholy has is my unwelcome companion. My sunny disposition is buried in the loss of people, comfort, and health.

We are four weeks into the pandemic, and I have only left the house once a week for groceries and once a week on Sundays to go record the live stream message with my hubby, the pastor.

I crawl into my favorite chair in my office. I wrap myself in a cozy blanket, and I weep. The floodgates open as I unload my grief. I don’t even recognize it as grief, at first. I miss people. I miss connection and conversation. I’m worried about our grown kids. Will my elderly parents with fragile bodies survive this pandemic? I am also overwhelmed by the political upheaval in our nation. I pour out my sadness to Papa.

I don’t have to pretend with Papa. He already knows everything that’s going on inside. He doesn’t judge me or condemn me. I hear Him whisper, “Go ahead and cry, Honey. I’m right here. I know this is scary and unfamiliar. I know you miss all your people immensely, but I’m here, I’m with you. I’ll help you through this.”

I feel the warmth of God’s peace as real as my cozy blanket. I’m going to keep coming back to this place whenever I’m overwhelmed. Papa’s love calms me best. I’m glad I can be honest with Him. I’m thankful for His loving-kindness towards me in my pain.

God is Safe

There is nothing blocking us from being close to God because Jesus covers our shame. We are safe with God. He allows us to draw near with the full assurance of His love. The Father is happy to see us, but He’s not looking for the cleaned-up version of ourselves. He wants us to be “real.” He’s not looking for the Sunday morning, mask-wearing version. You know, the one that is polished, perfect, and says “I’m fine!” That version rarely draws near to God.

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Jesus Bore our Shame So We Can Be Close to God

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Jesus Bore our Shame So We Can Be Close to God

“Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”- Hebrews 12:2

As we move forward with learning to be vulnerable to God, we must talk about how shame affects our relationship with our Creator. Shame keeps us from connection with God.

My Companion, Shame

I arrive early to high school and hear a commotion in the gym. I quietly open a side door so as to not draw attention and peer inside. The gym is filled with excited students, all standing at different tables with the State signs lifted high. It’s Student Council elections and oh, how I wish I was amidst the crowd of students. I’m organized, competent, and friendly, all the qualities necessary for leadership, but no one knows that about me.

Shame won’t allow me to join. Shame has been my constant companion for many years ever taunting me, crushing my heart, and making me feel small and worthless. She’s like a heavy, itchy coat I need to take off, but she keeps me safe, ever hidden, never exposed. She also hinders my ability to connect or belong.

Shame speaks loudly and harshly, filling my mind with words of condemnation. “You’re not good enough.” “If only they knew.” Shame belittles and lies. But I’m not strong enough to recognize the lies, so I continue to wear the uncomfortable coat.

Shame shapes every interaction I have with people. It makes me afraid to try new things for fear of rejection. Oh, how I resent those who are fearless. See, shame tells me I must pretend as I plaster on the smile and the optimistic outlook. Can they see the sadness behind my eyes? Is my brokenness amplified in their brave confidence? If they knew what was hidden inside, they’d want nothing to do with me.

Shame tells me I’m flawed, there’s no good in me. I imagine these kids in the gym come from beautiful families, where a peaceful conversation is held around the dinner table. They don’t go to sleep listening to the alcoholic step-dad arguing with their mom. If they knew what my home was like, they’d reject me, so instead, I hide.

Meeting Jesus at age twenty-one changes everything. I’m told He bore my sin and shame Himself. He literally took it for me. Jesus bore my shame on the cross, so I can draw near to God. God sees me as beautiful, cherished, lovely because Jesus stands between me and God. Jesus covers the ugliness of my sin and shame. It’s the best news I ever heard.

Brene Brown says, “People who aren’t good with vulnerability are usually really good at shame.”

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It's Safe to Be Vulnerable With God

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It's Safe to Be Vulnerable With God

“Behold you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.”- Psalm 51:6

Vulnerability With God

As we grow in our intimate connection with God it’s important to learn to be vulnerable with God. Some believe vulnerability makes us weak or feel out of control. Others are afraid to be vulnerable with God because shame tells them they are not worthy. The truth is vulnerability is the gateway to connection.

When I was going through a particularly stressful season in our ministry life, I learned about the vulnerability of King David as described in the Psalms. David’s words are raw, honest, almost painful in their vulnerability. He pours out his heart to God like nothing I’ve ever seen. He would become the model I used for my relationship with God.

Let’s look at an example: Psalm 142:1-7

“I cry aloud to the Lord; I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him, I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge. No one cares for my life.

I cry to you, Lord; I say, “You are my refuge, my portion, in the land of the living. Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me.”

David is experiencing deep sorrow. He feels abandoned and in need. He feels emotionally exhausted and weak, but instead of hiding from God, he runs to God and pours it all out. There’s no hesitation, or mask. David feels seen, understood, and heard. He then goes on to declare the goodness of God. What a beautiful way to relate to God.

In her book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says this about vulnerability:

“Our rejection of vulnerability often stems from associating it with dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment-emotions that we don’t want to discuss, even when they profoundly affect the way we live, love, and work. Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

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Help! I'm Overwhelmed! Four Steps to Quiet the Chaos and Hear God's Voice

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Help! I'm Overwhelmed! Four Steps to Quiet the Chaos and Hear God's Voice

As we wrap up this part of our series on hearing God’s voice I want to address a common problem that overrides our ability to hear God: the feeling of overwhelm. You’ve heard of it, right?

Overwhelm All-Around

The alarm jars me from a deep sleep. I groan and roll-over, fully aware of my schedule ahead. How am I already tired when the day hasn’t started? I reach for my comfy robe, grab a cup of coffee, and head to my spot. You know, the place I meet with Jesus in the morning. I imagine peace and joy but I’m met with frustration and anger. I try to quiet my racing thoughts. “Focus,” I tell myself. “You can deal with it later. It’s time to concentrate on God.”

Even my quiet time with God feels forced. Where’s the comfort and connection I crave? I’m feeling empty and spent. I wonder if God is disappointed in me?

I get the kids up and breakfast ready. We leave half-eaten bowls of cereal lining the counter as I scoot them out the door with dad. He’ll tell lots of bad dad jokes and they’ll blare the Journey soundtrack on the way to school. It’s the most they’ll see of him, as he’s a pastor and has lots of things to do. There’s always meetings, planning, people in crisis, strife to handle. It never ends for a pastor and his wife. Balancing the logistical needs of a large family with the needs of the church is a whole thing in and of itself.

As I wave them out the door, my mind lands on the challenges my kids, these five cherubs ranging from preschool to high school, are facing these days. How in the world do I have a child in every age range? We’re dealing with growing pains, emotional distress, friendship trouble, homework stress, and bullies at school. The issues are similar, but our kid's ages require different approaches when parenting them through these issues.

I gather the abandoned bowls and rinse them off as I go over my to-do list for the day in my head. Each kid has their own schedule to keep and homework to get done. There are the drop-off and pick-up schedules to mind and dinner to make. Should I tackle laundry first or work on my Bible study for discussion tonight? Oh, wait, I have a dance meeting at four! The little girls have dance rehearsal, Keenan has a concert, Moriah is heading to Sam’s house and Caleb will want to go hang out with a friend after school.

I feel the tightness in my neck and notice my shallow breathing. A wave of low-grade anger simmers below the surface. I’m not mad at people, I’m just frustrated my schedule is so crazy.

I’m overwhelmed by the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of those around me. Really, I’d just like to escape.

Calm the Chaos

The busy days of kids at home are long gone, but I’ll never forget the feelings of overwhelm I lived with most of the time.

Our endless “to-do” list, unrealistic expectations, need for perfection, and limited capacity, leads to overwhelm.

Overwhelm manifests as racing thoughts, tightness in our chest, and weary bodies. We feel this immense pressure.

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God Speaks Through The Church

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God Speaks Through The Church

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.” - Ephesians 4:15-16

God places us in a church as a part of the body where Christ is the head, and we are the parts. The parts are interdependent, and God speaks through the parts to benefit the whole. One of the ways we hear God most clearly is through the church.

The Grace of Church

Walking into the service this spring morning I’m shrouded in grief from my empty womb. We miscarry our child. I know the death of a grandparent, but this loss is so personal. This is our baby, the sibling of our firstborn. I feel raw and exposed and a little envious of my two best friends. Their babies seem blissfully safe inside of them. What have I done wrong to lose my baby?

I should stay out of the choir loft this morning, but singing soothes my soul. I’m quiet as I gather my robe and rehearse the warm-up song. I keep my eyes to the ground and concentrate on vocal technique. I will myself to hold it together, but I’m not a good pretender. We take our places in the choir loft. Feelings of sadness and grief overwhelm me as tears roll down my face. I keep singing.

As we leave the platform and go to the choir room, sobs roll from my stomach as my friends surround me. They hold me, care for me, cry with me, and love me. They take turns praying words of life over me. Some recite scripture and others acknowledge my grief. The body of Christ comes together in the most beautiful way to care for me.

Surely Christ is in our midst, in this mangled mess of tears, snot, and hugs. God uses the body of Christ to speak words of support and comfort over my grieving heart. My friends direct my wounded heart to God’s goodness, and their words of compassion feel like a hug from heaven.

As I return to the pews, I listen to the pastor’s message, and his words are just what I need to hear this day. When I come with an open heart to receive, God always speaks through the church. Sometimes it's a message from the pastor or a kind gesture of a friend, but it all points me to God’s voice.

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God Speaks Through Circumstances

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God Speaks Through Circumstances

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

How we orient our hearts during difficult circumstances will affect our ability to hear God. It’s human nature to lash out and blame when something bad happens. We blame God, accuse Him of neglect, and run from Him. Then we feel utterly alone and lost. We feel abandoned by our Creator when actually we were the ones who ran from Him. How do we make sense of it all?

Reoriented Hearts

When we arrive at our second pastorate, the church is inward-focused and unhealthy. My hubby, the pastor, and I begin the hard work of revitalization. It requires patience and perseverance to shift the culture of a living organization, but, eventually, we do. New life springs forth, lives are impacted. Growth is evident, except the finances remain stagnant, even though my husband faithfully teaches stewardship principles each Sunday. We work faithfully for ten years; we give, pray, and press on.

In the eleventh year, my husband offers to not receive a salary. It isn’t a flippant decision. After much prayer and talking through the options, we agree and have peace. We pray, we wait, and God speaks to us. We believe God is our Provider, not the church; we trust He will supply our needs.

In the past, we experience the faithfulness of God a million times over. We are confident His faithfulness continues. We have a choice to make at this time. How are we to access these circumstances? We have two options: bitterness or trust God.

God proves His faithfulness as He provides another paying job for my hubby. He becomes the Development Director of a men’s homeless shelter. The job fits his giftings perfectly, and it provides new ministry opportunities with homeless men. He also takes on a bus route. I get a part-time job at Marshall’s, in addition to my part-time work at the church. I enjoy the retail job immensely, though it is physically exhausting.

Unexpected checks arrive at just the right time as bills need to be paid. We continue to love the congregation and do the work God calls us to do. God is faithful to our family. When finances are tight, or we feel shaky with our choice, we continue to pray and reorient our hearts to God’s goodness.

I wish I could say a miracle happens and all the finances come in, but they don’t. We do what God asks us to do. As we wait on God that year, our youngest daughter graduates high school, and we feel a release to leave the church. We resign with thankful hearts for the season we had with the church, and are confident God will direct us to our next step.

In God’s faithfulness, He moves us to a new pastoral assignment. We don’t allow the root of bitterness, as we live off of our savings account that year. Instead, we chose to daily look to God for strength and wisdom. We are confident God asks us to take this step of obedience and let go of a paycheck. We listen for God’s voice as we reorient our lives to what He wants to do; we adjust to God’s plans.

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God Speaks Through Prayer

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God Speaks Through Prayer

“My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways, my ways.” Isaiah 55:8

One of the most common ways God speaks is through prayer. We make prayer hard as we feel insecure or worry too much about what words to use. Others talk too much and don’t listen to God’s voice at all.

In the simplest terms, prayer is communication with God. It’s an honest two-way conversation where love, security, vulnerability, and confidence flow. It’s a place of surrender, petition, thanksgiving, growth, confirmation, lament, joy, and freedom. Prayer is a relationship with God where we adjust to His purposes. Often it’s the place we hear God speak most clearly.

Morning Prayers

I roll out of bed usually before the alarm goes off. I’m not super “chipper” like my hubby, but I’m not grumpy either. I don’t need immediate interaction. I make a bee-line downstairs for my Gigi mug and fill it with rich Caribou coffee and a splash of half and half.

I climb the stairs in our quiet home and head to my office/prayer room. The walls are a soft grey with white sheers over the abundant windows. It’s my favorite room in the house because it’s serene and welcoming. I plop into my cozy chair and drape a fuzzy blanket over my legs. My Bible, notebook, and pen are ready to record my conversation with Papa.

The mood is relaxed and my heart is expectant. I calm my thoughts and focus on what I’m feeling. Am I anxious, upset, fearful, frustrated, joyful, or at peace? Is there a pressing matter weighing on my heart and thoughts?

I reach for my Bible and turn to today’s passage in my reading plan. I’m certain the Word will address what I’m feeling. I ponder the passage and think about context and the attributes of God’s character and I ask how this truth applies to my life today.

I don’t use fancy words or wonder how to talk to God. I’m just myself as I pour out my honest emotions and process the adjustments I need to make. Is there an attitude that needs correction? Is there someone I need to forgive? What revelation do I need to understand about God and His activity in my life?

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God Speaks Through His Word

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God Speaks Through His Word

“Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge!’ Romans 11:33a

Now that we understand God speaks, it’s time to talk about how He speaks.

The number one way God speaks is through His Word. Before we move forward, it’s helpful to think about our view of the Bible. Do you see it negatively because you’ve felt preached at, or condemned by someone who has taught from the Word? Do you find God’s Word confusing and contradictory, so you avoid it? Are you easily bored with God’s Word? Do you believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God? These mindsets will have an effect on how you relate to the scriptures. It’s good to evaluate your perception of the Word.

God Speaks to Me

Part of my morning routine is intentional interaction with God through His Word. I’ve practiced this rhythm for over 30 years. I’ve done it with nursing babies and wiggly toddlers at my feet. I’ve done it when trials loom large and hopelessness wants to swallow me whole. I’ve done it through the pain of injury and interpersonal strife. I’ve met with God when my love grows cold, and when my attitude needs adjustment. I’ve sat with God in deep sorrow and celebratory joy, and each time I learn something new about who God is.

I sit in a comfy chair, wrapped in a blanket with my favorite cup of Caribou Mahogony blend, my Bible, and a notebook in hand. I come with an attitude of expectancy. The Bible is a love letter from God to me and I look forward to what Papa wants to say to me. Some days He speaks encouragement, others we’ll deal with a heart issue or attitude that needs attention. At times the Holy Spirit will deposit revelation and understanding. The Holy Spirit’s job is to reveal the truth to me.

As I read the Word, I search for clues of who God is. I don’t like to read too much, just enough to understand the context of a passage. I pay attention to verbs or action words. What God does and says are clues to who He is. What character trait is highlighted in the passage? Is it His power, wisdom, compassion, love, faithfulness, sovereignty, enduring love, or kindness? I like to write down my thoughts in a journal, so I can look back at what God spoke. We never come to the end of all there is to learn about God.

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God Speaks

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God Speaks

“My sheep hear my voice and I know them, and they follow me.”-John 10:27

My intention with this series is to alleviate some of the pressure or shame we feel as we relate to God. I don’t want you to feel defeated or less than because you struggle to hear God’s voice.

Some of us have a hard time quieting ourselves to hear God speak. Others don’t want to hear what God has to say out of fear. Many struggle with discerning their thoughts versus God’s voice. Still, others wrestle with the lies of the enemy rumbling around their heads.

Hearing God speak is a learned skill and can only happen as a result of your loving union with Him.

It’s why I started this series with your understanding that we connect with God from a position of love. You love Him and He loves you, and everything we do will build off of this foundation.

God Speaks

I was hours away from the church service that changed the trajectory of my life. I surrendered my heart to God and was made new in an instant, and I wanted to live my life for God. I could not contain the joy I felt with my decision to follow Christ. The world was bright and filled with hope, and I was wrapped in a blanket of God’s love and acceptance. I was a sophomore in college home for Christmas break. It was January 5, 1986, and I was to return to the school that evening.

I thought of the relationship I had been in the past two years. My boyfriend’s name was Paul; he was selfish, arrogant, and cold. Why did I even think I loved him when he treated me so poorly? What was wrong with me, that I stuck with him?

I whispered a quiet prayer to my Savior and I said, “God what do I do?” I didn’t hear an audible voice, but I heard a thought. “You don’t need him. I have better things ahead for you. Let him go.”

Wow! Did I just hear from God? I’m enveloped in this deep sense of peace coupled with wonder. I return to my dorm to call Paul and tell him of my experience with God, and my desire to break-up. It wasn’t dramatic. I was simply honest, and I never hear from him again.

As the months continue, I pray for a Godly man. Don’t think I didn’t throw in a “and God, can you make him tall, too?” request. I’m introduced by my cousin to a tall, handsome banker. He’s a little older and has a nice car and takes me to nice restaurants, but when I tell him of my love for God, we have no connection. I’m crushed, but once again, in prayer, the Holy Spirit whispers, “Trust me, I have something better.” So, I wait and see.

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Love Leads to Hearing God's Voice

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Love Leads to Hearing God's Voice

“How precious is your steadfast love, O God! Psalm 36:7

We continue our series on building a close connection with God. We need to train our ears to hear His voice. God’s voice is a whisper, and in order to hear it, we must remain close to Him. He only reveals Himself and His voice to those who have cultivated an intimate, loving relationship.

There is one foundational truth needed for us to be able to hear God’s voice. It seems elementary to note, but if we miss this one point, we will not be able to hear God’s voice. God loves you. Just as you are, right where you’re at.

God loves you!

Let that sink in a little more. We have to settle it in our hearts from the beginning that God loves us and wants to speak to us. Without understanding His love, we won’t hear His voice.

Does God Love Me?

I’m fourteen and shuffled off to a Confirmation retreat with a bunch of wiggly eighth graders. Really, we’re just happy to get away together. We giggle and gag as we discover boxes of Raisin Bran filled with cobwebs as we prepare for breakfast the first morning of the retreat. Oh my gosh, when was the last time someone was in this camp kitchen?

I know nothing of this thing called Confirmation. What am I even confirming? I think someone mentioned my baptism, but what does that mean to a kid who barely graces the doors of a church? I’m just an awkward teen looking for fun and a few days away from the chaos at home.

The coneflower blue sky is brilliant against copper leaves as I walk in the woods. I sense God’s love outside in the sun. I felt this way often as a young girl. I wonder if this is a normal way for others to sense God’s love? Why would He even love me? I’ve done nothing exceptional. I’m a nobody who feels insecure and unloved. The pastor speaks of God’s love, and I want to believe it, but there’s all this proof that I’m not loved. What do I do with the evidence?

I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with this feeling, this joy, and warmth rising in my chest. Someone help me find my way to God. I want to walk in His light, but shame keeps me in the shadows. The feeling is fleeting as I don’t know who to turn to. But that day, in the sun, I knew God loved me. I could feel it. I could taste it. I felt wrapped in it, for certain, even if it was only a few fleeting moments. God was drawing me with His love.

Hearing from God does not depend on a formula or a method but rather a relationship. First, we must be assured that God loves us. Love is the foundation we build upon as we learn to hear His voice.

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Solitude and Longing for God

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Solitude and Longing for God

“Be still and know that I am God.” -Psalm 46:10

Another way to draw closer to God is by practicing solitude. Trust me, I understand the apprehension you feel when the word is mentioned. We’re bombarded with all these questions.

What if I can’t focus?

What do I say?

What if I can’t hear God’s voice?

What if I’m afraid to be that vulnerable with God?

The Solitude Exercise

I’m at a retreat, and I know the time is coming up because the agenda says “solitude.” I’m a little nervous and feel apprehensive. By nature, I’m a doer and energized by being with people, so the thought of solitude feels unfamiliar. My mind races with questions. What do I do with solitude? What if I can’t focus? What if I do this wrong?

Why am I so worried about my performance? It’s something I have worked on for years: this lie that I have to do things right.

What is the reason for this apprehension? Am I afraid to face my soul? Have I ignored it too long? Will I be overwhelmed by what I find buried deep? How do I feel about being with God, just the two of us, with no agenda except connection?

The solitude session time arrives, and we’re instructed to go find a quiet place. I find a comfy chair and look out the window. I’m enthralled by the beauty in nature. The calm lake, the gentle breeze ruffling the leaves. It feels peaceful. There’s no music, no instruction, just the pull of my soul longing to connect with God.

I take a deep breath and settle myself. I feel the tension drain from my body, and I enjoy the peace. I whisper a simple prayer. “God, I just want to be with You. I have no agenda, prayer request, or desire, except to be in Your presence.”

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Closeness With God Begins With Longing

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Closeness With God Begins With Longing

“I stretch out my hands to you; my soul longs for you as a parched land.”- Psalm 143:6

The place we need to start in order to feel closer to God is our longing. Most of us have buried it deep beneath our overextended schedules and our religious activity. When you have the courage to bring longing out in the presence of God, you will have a beautiful connection.

Empty

I sit in the early morning, coffee in hand, Bible opened, notebook ready to record my thoughts, and I feel empty. Warm tears fall as I pay attention to my soul. I’m weary from serving everyone and everything. I’m a pastor's wife, a mother of five, a volunteer, an employee, a friend, a parent stretched from all the kid’s activities. The weight of ministry demands coupled with the busy family has wrung me out.

I don’t know how to say “ no.” I overestimate my capacity then feel bitter when I have no margin in my days. And where’s God in all this hustling? He seems far away. Our relationship has gone cold. I’ve lost the wonder of sitting at His feet and embracing His heart. I’ve become too busy doing things FOR Him instead of sitting WITH Him. I need to make some changes. Longing is stirring within and I need to pay attention.

When was the last time you felt it-your own longing, that is? Your longing for love, your longing for God, your longing to live your life as it is meant to be lived in God? When was the last time you felt a longing for healing and fundamental change groaning within you?” -Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

Honestly, if I hadn’t read Haley Barton’s book I couldn’t have told you it was a longing that was stirring. I’d pushed my longing aside. It was buried deep, and I left no room for it to come out. It was hidden beneath my busy schedule and my service for God. It wasn’t safe to face my longing because I wasn’t sure anything would change. I faced my longing once and nothing came of it. The thought of being disappointed again made me want to keep my desires quiet. Instead, this time, I took the brave step and brought my longing out in the presence of God, and it was life-changing.

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